


Under All Circumstances

by lazy_daze



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Orgy, Polyamory, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:55:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazy_daze/pseuds/lazy_daze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Liam decides to sign up for an online dating website, his main worry is how scary it is to finally have the chance to go out with a boy; he’s definitely not anticipating having to deal with the website glitch that sets him up on a blind date with not just one boy, but four at the same time.</p><p>Somehow, the date goes well – so well that the other four convince Liam that they all need to do it again, and for some crazy reason Liam agrees. Maybe it’s because he really likes these loud, ridiculous, frankly gorgeous boys.</p><p>But it’s stupid, isn’t it? No matter how good it feels, how much fun Liam has, and how lucky he feels that all these people want to kiss him – five people can’t all go out at the same time. Five-way relationships don’t happen, there’s no way they can all make this work. He’s sure of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under All Circumstances

**Author's Note:**

> -Thank you so so much to [Lucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/balefully) for the title help and incredible beta! YOU DA BEST HOT DAMMIT YOU DA BEST etc <3  
> -Note re: relationships - this is properly an OT5 fic, as in, a proper five-way polyamorous relationship. It's Liam POV, so he gets more screentime, as it were, and his emotional decisions drive the story you see, but it's not Liam-centric a relationship i.e. to those involved, there's no central person or relationship: all relationships within the group are equally important. So if you really hate any particular combo of the five, sorry, but it will be in here somewhere. But at the same time, no one or two relationships are given any more intentional weight than others. Also, this is all faintly ridiculous :)  
> -Note re: topping/bottoming - there isn't any, all sex is non-penetrative.
> 
> Beautiful fanmix & art post by [Rave](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rave): [HERE](http://sashayed.tumblr.com/post/77094110673/under-all-circumstances-an-ot5-mix-for-lazy-daze)

\--

"What am I doing," Liam said to himself, tugging at the collar of his shirt. He felt like an absolute idiot standing there holding a rose like something out of a film, one of those soppy romantic comedies like his mum loved. Love Actually, maybe, as it was middle of November, getting on towards Christmas. "What, what, what am I doing."

"I'm sorry?" said the waitress politely.

Maybe not so much to himself. Oops.

"Oh, nothing, sorry," said Liam. "Just, uh. Waiting for someone."

"If you want to give me their name, I can seat you now and I can bring them over to you when they arrive, if that would be more comfortable, sir?"

Liam wanted to die a little bit more than he did before. "N-no, I don't, um. Know their name. Yet. I mean--"

"Ah," said the waitress, her smile going all knowing. "Gotcha." She leaned in a bit, said, "Good luck!" and smoothly turned to help the people who had come in behind him, as Liam lingered awkwardly to the side, somewhere between the entrance to the restaurant and the maître d' stand.

Great. The entire restaurant probably knew he was a moron on a blind date. 

All he knew was that the guy - oh, god, a blind date with a _guy_ , what, _what_ was he doing - would be wearing a black jacket with a blue scarf, that's all the website had told him. The person it had matched him to knew he'd be wearing a grey jacket and holding a red rose. Why had he been landed with the rose? At least he could poke himself in the eye with the thorns as a distraction when things undoubtedly got even more awkward. Jade had told him it would be a _brilliant_ idea - find a nice boy to go out with, take them to cousin Clare's wedding in February, voila, come out to the whole family in one fell swoop, plus maybe getting to actually shag a boy. She hadn't mentioned the whole part where Liam would want to actually die with awkwardness.

"Um," came a voice from just behind him.

Liam jumped and turned and stabbed himself in the thumb with a thorn. "Ow," he said, then, "Oh," as he came face to face with a guy with a shock of streaky blond hair and friendly blue eyes. "Er," he finished off. A trifecta of smooth.

"Hello," said the guy. He had a casual black cardigan on and a pale blue wooly scarf snugged under his chin. "Are you - here for the, uh. The date?" His voice was nice, with an Irish accent, and he was really cute, his pink mouth turning up into a smile.

"I," said Liam, both relieved and even more nervous. This would have been disappointing but possibly less scary if the guy hadn't been at all attractive to Liam, but now Liam had to _impress_. He nodded frantically, then made himself smile. "Hi, I, yes. I'm--"

"Erm," said a careful, deep voice to Liam's right.

Liam turned.

There was another guy standing there in a black jacket, this time a tailored velvet blazer, and a simple royal blue scarf that looked terribly soft wrapped neatly around his neck. He was frowning and looking between Liam and the blond guy, but even with his eyebrows tugged together like that he was almost terrifyingly gorgeous, dark haired with a smattering of black stubble, like a model or something.

"I'm -" he said, looking back at Liam. "I'm here for the date? I thought - the site said you'd be wearing that, so." He rubbed his ear a bit nervously, and looked around, then looked back at Liam and seemed to stand his ground. "Yeah."

Liam was nonplussed. "I--"

"Interesting," the blond guy said, but when Liam whipped his head around to look at him, he wasn't looking at Liam or the newcomer, he was looking at the door.

A guy in a long black coat, skinny black jeans, and a voluminous silky navy scarf was coming through the door. He was looking around hopefully, and when he saw Liam, he grinned and headed over. He had curly hair and dimples and he was also really pretty and Liam was so confused.

Curly guy visibly caught sight of the other two black-jacket blue-scarf guys next to Liam and faltered to a stop, looking lost, then nearly going flying when a couple behind him barged into his back, tutting loudly. He nearly fell over his own feet and flailed towards Liam, who instinctively reached out and grabbed him by the arms. The guy looked up at him slowly and smiled again, though his eyebrows were still drawn together a bit. "Hi," he said slowly.

"Hey, no fair," said the blond guy. "I didn't get a meet-cute like that!"

"What?" said the model guy.

"What?" said Liam.

He blinked and let go of the curly guy, stepped back a bit and looked around. Did the website just match everyone to meet at this same restaurant? Were there two other guys in grey jackets with red roses somewhere looking for dates? How would they know who was theirs?

"This is a bit odd," said curly guy, looking around at the four of them stood in a confused half circle. "Is this like the Hunger Games? Do we fight to the death? Hi, I'm Harry."

"Um," said model guy. "I don't--"

"He's cute, but I'm not killing anyone for him," said blondie. He looked at Liam consideringly. "Probably."

"Wait," said Liam. There must be a reasonable explanation for this. "Let's--"

"Excuse me!" said a loud voice from behind Harry. "Move, you're talking to my date."

"Oh my god," said Liam. "How many of you are there?"

"What?" said the voice, then Harry stumbled as he was pushed to the side. A guy a bit shorter than Liam with bright blue eyes, a sharp, pretty face, and a dour expression was standing there, hands on his hips. He was wearing a plain black blazer over a Joy Division t-shirt and a big white and blue checked scarf with tassles draped around his neck.

"Hi," he said to Liam. "I'm Louis and I don't know why all these people are getting in my way, but I believe I'm your date for this evening?"

"Well," said the blond guy, reasonably, "actually, I think I am. I'm Niall, by the way. Seeing as we're doing that."

"Or," said Harry, " _I'm_ your date. Or you're mine. I wore, you know. The clothes you said I should."

"Well," said Liam. "It wasn't me. The website, like - plans out these dates? I didn't pick the, you know. Blue. Scarf. Thing."

Louis was glaring around the circle, which was getting in absolutely everyone's way and drawing increasingly confused and irritable looks from the lovely waitress. Oh, god. "No, _actually_. This nice man here is wearing a grey jacket and has a red rose, and I'm wearing a black jacket and blue scarf, brand new thank you very much, and this is all exactly as the website told me, so we're on a date and the rest of you can go away, whoever you are." Though his face lost some of its conviction as he looked from scarf to scarf.

"Except, no," said model guy, calmly. "Exactly the same here. The website told me I had a 90-per-cent-plus compatibility match, and gave me these instructions and this time and address. So on my side, it feels like it should be my date here."

"But like, same here," said Harry.

Model guy nodded. "Right." He looked at Niall. "Right?" Niall nodded, and Louis huffed but didn't say anything.

"So," said model guy, running a thoughtful finger along the light scruff on his jaw, "I'm thinking that the website had a glitch, maybe our date here matched with all of us 90-per-cent-plus and the system forgot to narrow it down more, or it just threw a wobbly, like, and sent the message out to four random members - or more," he said, gaze roving over the restaurant, but the flood seemed to have stemmed, for now. "And we all showed up, without anyone of us realising anything was wrong."

"This is one heck of a glitch in the Matrix," said Liam slowly, feeling surreal and a bit dizzy. Model guy flashed him a sudden disarming smile then, and Louis laughed, then brought his hand to his mouth like he hadn't meant to.

"Um," said Liam. "What, er. What's your name?" he asked model guy, trying not to go red at the mental nickname he was using.

"Zayn. What's yours? You haven't even told us."

"Oh, god, sorry," said Liam. "I'm Liam."

"So, Liam," said Louis, crossing his arms and flicking his hair out of his face attractively. "Bit greedy, aren't we?"

"No!" said Liam, mortified. "I had no idea, I'm as confused as you lot. It was scary enough thinking about meeting one strange boy for a date, let alone four showing up. I didn't plan any of this." He manfully resisted winding an anxious hand into his hair; it was all waxed up and coiffed and it would be a waste of Jade's hard work.

"It's okay, mate," said Niall, putting a hand on Liam's arm. "I believe you."

"I think, um," said Liam, "I think Zayn's right? Like, the website did something wrong."

"So what are you going to do about it?" said Louis.

"We," said Harry. "What are _we_ going to do about it? It's not Liam's fault. We're all in this together now."

"Alright, High School Musical," said Louis irritably. Everyone looked at him blankly.

"Maybe Liam should choose, if he wants to," said Zayn reasonably. "He's the one the site matched us to."

"Oh, no, I don't, I mean, I--I don't think so," said Liam immediately. He felt bad for the second Twix stick he ate, there was no way he could pick between four living people.

"Well, to be fair, I was here first," said Niall, shrugging.

"That's true," said Liam apologetically. Niall was cute, he had been happy - slash terrified - at the thought of going on a date with Niall before all this.

"He likes me the best, though," said Louis confidently, sticking his chin up.

"Well," said Liam, carefully, because Louis was a bit scary – though somehow undeniably appealing. "I don't really know any of you, so."

"I got you - I mean, I had - oh," said Harry sadly, reaching inside his coat and bringing out a single orchid, broken halfway down the stem and drooping pathetically. "I was going to give you this. All romantic, like."

"That - that's lovely, thank you," said Liam, feeling bad, taking the orchid from Harry anyway. He was now holding a broken white orchid in one hand and a single red rose in the other, with four boys arranged in front of him, waiting for him to decide who to date. Possibly he had fallen over and cracked his head on the floor at the tube station and this was all just a delirious coma-dream. In reality he was tucked up in a bed at Guy's Hospital, sister frantic by his bedside, a significant absence of four fit boys wanting to have dinner with him.

"Does that mean you choose him?" Louis demanded, outraged.

Zayn hadn't said anything to defend his being there, but he wasn't moving either, just standing there looking gorgeous, which to be fair, was a defence all its own.

"No!" said Liam. "I'm not choosing anyone. For god's - look, we can't keep standing here, at any rate," he said a bit desperately, and marched over to the waitress, then had to wait as she seated a lovely older couple who were having a nice normal dinner date and not grappling with absurd dilemmas and holding random dying foliage.

"Hi," he said eventually. "Table for, um." He glanced behind himself, half convinced they'd all have buggered off home in the three minute wait, but they were all looking over expectantly. "If you can manage - table for five people?"

She aimed a look behind him, raised her neat eyebrows a polite centimetre, and looked back at Liam. "Five?"

"Yes," said Liam firmly. At the least, they were all bloody getting dinner.

She looked down at her screen, flipped through a couple of sheets of paper on a pad, and said, "Follow me."

Liam waved the others over, and the whole blue-scarved lot of them trundled up to him.

The waitress - who Liam could now see from her badge was called Lucy, poor Lucy - sat them at a large corner booth table. She was all polite professionalism through the silent bickering that went on as they decided on seating - Liam wedged himself in the corner and let the others fight it out, and ended up with Louis and Niall either side of him and Harry and Zayn across the table - except for giving Liam a privately amused tiny eyebrow waggle after handing out menus and before trotting off. Liam resisted dropping his head down onto the table.

"Um," he said, feeling bizarrely like he was chairing a meeting. He'd had to fill in for his boss once and run the weekly meeting for the admin staff at his office and he'd ballsed it up royally. "I just thought, we should at least all eat? 'Stead of just standing around?"

"Good man," said Niall, and Zayn nodded, lips pursed - distractingly - approvingly. Liam sort of desperately wished that four unattractive guys had shown up; it would have been easier to throw his hands up and walk away. But all of them were really hot, and at least nice enough to agree to sit with him instead of deciding that all of it - that Liam - wasn't worth this palaver and absurdity, and Liam didn't particularly want to give up on any of them quite yet.

"This is interesting," said Harry, hands steepled on the table in front of him. "Is this like a fivesome date? Because, Liam, you're really hot, but everyone at this table is fit, so I'm into that."

"No!" said Liam and Louis simultaneously, and Liam looked to Louis for a validating exchange of glances, except Louis was looking around the table and followed up with, "Actually, maybe. I always like to win a competition, but really, if this is a competition, old model chops over there has us all beat, so fivesome date could be another angle."

Zayn raised his eyebrows at Louis but said nothing, and Niall just laughed, which was cute but entirely unhelpful.

"No," said Liam, "there is no angle, oh my god."

"So if it's not a competition, and it's not a fivesome date, what is it?" said Harry thoughtfully.

"It's," said Liam, flustered. He didn't know why this was happening to him or why it was up to him to decide what happened. Of all the interesting and fit people at this table, he should not be the one with any sort of choosing power. He saw Lucy heading over to them again and picked up his menu thankfully. "It's dinner, okay? Now let's order."

Ordering was a fiasco. Zayn wanted the burger with no tomato and no mayonnaise and wedges instead of chips, Harry wanted to know if the roast half chicken was organic free-range, because he apparently liked to think he could taste an animal's relative level of happiness in the meat, Niall looked anguished and changed his mind five separate times about what he wanted, and Louis tried to order something that was literally not even close to being on the menu.

"Louis - I don't think--" Liam said, as Lucy raised an eyebrow at Louis and kept her pen stock still on the ordering pad. He sighed. "God, it's like being a bloody teacher on a school trip."

Harry and Niall hooted with laughter, while Zayn smirked and Louis said, "Kinky."

"Oh my god," said Liam. He'd never blushed more in one evening before, bloody hell. "Just order something, please?"

"I like an assertive man," said Louis, but thankfully ordered something acceptable, and Lucy left them to it with nothing but an unreadable look at Liam, who thought the most likely interpretation was probably _you'd better be leaving me a bloody big tip_.

"Okay," said Niall. "So like. We might not any of us know exactly what is going on here - for the record, if there's a vote between competition or fivesome date, I'm here for the fivesome, because everyone's fit and I'm a lover not a fighter--"

"Same," said Harry fervently, while Louis stuck his chin out defiantly and Zayn tilted his head consideringly and Liam tried not to rip his serviette into shreds in anxiety-fuelled destruction.

"-- but if we're gonna be spending the next couple of hours together for dinner, we might as well get to know each other a bit, eh?"

Zayn nodded. "I'm down."

Louis pointed at Niall. "That is a solid plan."

Niall beamed at him like Louis's approval was already the best thing he could imagine. Terrifyingly enough, Liam could sort of understand how he felt.

He smiled warmly at Niall. "That sounds like a really good idea. Um, do you want to start? Like, an introduction thing?"

Niall snickered. "I feel like I'm at one of those support group meetings. Hi! I'm Niall and I'm addicted to online dating!" He pulled a face. "I'm actually not. Sorry. I'm not very interesting. I do part time at Marks and Sparks, part time in a bar - the O'Neill's on Wardour St, pop in, I can sneak you a pint on the house, weeknights! And the rest of my time I play in a band with my mates Bressie and Eoghan. We're sick. Well, Eoghan's a bit shit, god love him, but he tries. And, er, I tried this online dating stuff on a dare, to be honest, but when I got told I had this great match, I was like, why not?"

"Because you'll end up on a bizarre five-way date?" put in Zayn, wryly, with a smirk.

Niall laughed. "Nah, s'alright, innit? Be a story at the least."

"You're in a band?" said Harry. "That's sick. What sort of music do you play? What do you do in the band?"

Niall grinned, cheeks pink. "I love it, mate. It's guitar-y indie pop rock, though Bressie keeps wanting to bring in this folk-electronica feel, so we're playing with all sorts of new stuff, like. And I play guitar. And, uh, sing, a bit, but I'm not very good."

"I bet you are," said Liam, then went red again as they all looked at him.

Niall waved a hand. "Ah, sure, how would you know?"

"I don't know, but I'm positive you are," said Liam. "Don't put yourself down, I bet you're so good."

Niall shrugged squirmily, but he was grinning at Liam. "Well, thanks mate. Have to come see us play some time, won't you?" He looked round the table. "Same goes for all of you. We can use all the audience we can get, if I'm honest."

"When you're famous we can say we knew you when, right?" said Louis. "We can be your groupies."

Niall put his fist out over the table, and Louis bumped it. "Deal."

"What about you, Louis?" said Liam.

"Me? Ah, well, I'm not as cool as Niall, I'm not in a band. I fully understand if you want me to leave."

"No, no, you're fine," said Liam, finding himself frowning and laughing at the same time. Louis looked satisfied, though, and continued.

"I'm actually studying, living the student life, doing business at Queen Mary's. I'm not eighteen, don't look all worried, I took a gap year - or two - and I'm in my second year. I actually kind of hate it, but what can you do?"

"Well, you don't have to carry on," said Harry, frowning, "if you hate it."

"Well, I can't drop out, not with student loans up to my bloody ears. It's not that bad, I'll get the degree, but I'm not cut out for any sort of business career, tell you that much. Might look into teacher training or something after, I don't know." He said it sort of flippantly, but in a way that seemed absolutely not flippant at all underneath.

"I'm sure you'll work it out," said Liam. "Like, no-one I know with a degree actually uses it. I don't even have a degree, so you'll be one up on me."

"Degrees aren't important, really," said Zayn, quietly. "Formal education's only good if it works for you. Doesn't make you a better person to have one, but it also don't make you a bad person if you are proud of having one."

"That was so wise," said Niall, sounding awed. "Do you not have a degree?"

"Er," said Zayn, "actually, I'm, like, doing part-time to get my Master's, but. It's 'cause I want to, like."

"Beautiful and clever? Fuck this, let's all go home," said Louis, grinning sharply, but Zayn just shook his head and smiled a bit.

"Thanks, but nah, not really. You weren't done with your intro, Louis, keep going."

Louis shrugged. "I dunno, mate, not much more to tell. I had two online dating attempts before and they were both with complete plonkers, so already this is a lot better, even if it is a bit overcrowded. I like Iron Man and Spiderman and go-karting and making people laugh."

"Iron Man is cool," said Liam, and Zayn nodded vehemently, "but Batman is better."

"What!" said Louis immediately. "Spiderman is--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Harry straight away, holding up a hand. "I lived with comic book fans when I was at uni, I know this can go on for hours. I am going to very rudely interrupt you for my introduction." He smiled winningly, and even if he had been being rude - which Liam didn't think he was, he did have a very fair point - no-one would have been able to keep up any irritation, what with those bloody dimples.

"My name is Harry, and I work in a bakery."

Everyone was fascinated by that - "Sick!" said Niall, as Liam asked what sort of bakery, and Louis said, "That's not a real job, no-one _actually_ works in a bakery as their proper job."

"I do," said Harry, shushing Louis. "I did my A Levels and I was going to go to uni, when I realised last minute I really didn't want to. I had been doing baking and stuff in my own time since I was like fourteen when I had a part time job in the village bakery, so I did a culinary NVQ and now I work full time in a bakery in Notting Hill that specialises in, like, little cupcakes, although we do, you know, pastries and stuff too."

"That sounds like something out of a film," said Liam, strangely charmed. "Like a Hollywood star is going to walk into the cupcake shop and you will fall madly in love and elope to, like, Paris, or something."

Harry grinned. "I keep hoping! But until then, online dating." He shrugged. "I've been on like three dates through this website, and none of them have been any good. Two of them were proper arseholes, and one guy was straight and very confused as to why the site had matched him with a guy." He pulled a face. "I don't think the website's very good, is it?"

"None of us are secretly straight and sitting here stewing in confusion, right?" said Louis immediately. "Because that would be hilarious but also disappointing."

Liam shook his head and looked around the table, sighed with relief along with Louis when no-one said anything.

"Well," said Harry, "I suppose I'd rather be on a date with four fit boys who have a genuine potential interest in my dick than one very pretty straight boy, so, plus one point to Double-Blind dot com." He twisted his mouth consideringly. It was a distractingly pretty mouth, and Liam was already feeling a bit flushed at Harry's casual mention of his dick. "Minus a few points for not understanding how many people are traditionally on a blind date, but I've never really been big on tradition, so."

"Aw, Liam's gone all red when Harry mentioned his dick," said Niall, grinning suddenly. "That's adorable."

"I - no," protested Liam feebly, knowing he was still red as the table erupted into laughter.

It was weird, though - they were all laughing at him, from Zayn's little grin to Louis's full-on cackle, and usually that would have sounded like his worst nightmare. Four people sitting around a table, all laughing at him, like at school when he'd called the teacher Mum in Year 3 and everyone had laughed and he'd had to go home, he'd been so upset.

People laughing at him was his worst thing, usually, but here - he didn't even know these boys, but it didn't feel awful. It didn't feel like he wanted to sink under the table and run away. He waited for the skin-crawling feeling of panic and embarrassment to curl up from his stomach, but it didn't. He shrugged and grinned, and Zayn rubbed his shoulder with a smile.

"Ah, we're only teasing," he said, and he looked like he was fond of Liam, like his teasing really was affectionate, like his mum had always said his friends were being, only this time he believed it; and the others looked the same, like they all actually liked him.

"Yeah, I know," said Liam, grinning. And, like, he did. It was weird.

"Okay, Liam," said Louis, bossily. "Now it's your turn. You dragged us all here, so explain yourself."

"I didn't!" protested Liam, but Louis was already grinning and shaking his head.

"I know," he said. "I'm being a knob, you'll get over it. Now, go on."

"Suppose I'll have to get used to it, eh?" said Liam, with a smirk. Was he flirting? Good god, who had possessed him. "Fine, fine. I'm - er, hi. I'm Liam."

"Hi, Liam," the others chorused cheekily.

Liam rolled his eyes. "I've never done online dating before. I actually. I haven't." He cleared his throat. "I've had a couple of girlfriends, but I haven't actually gone out with a guy before, either, so, this is, you know. Bit of a. Whatsit."

"Baptism of fire?" Harry suggested with a grin.

"I haven't either," said Zayn, unexpectedly. "I mean, like. I knew I wanted to go out with boys as well as girls since I was fifteen, like, but I only had girlfriends. Then a few months ago I broke up with my last girlfriend, and thought, you know, why not. Obviously, like, took me a few months to get the courage to go on one, but, you know. Same boat."

"Oh," said Liam, "cool," which was somewhat of an understatement for the relief and sympathy and understanding he felt from Zayn, the comfort warm down his spine, but Zayn grinned back like he knew, and knocked his shoe briefly against Liam's under the table.

"Full on gay here," declared Louis, waving his hand around. "One of those annoying ones who's got a Pride flag draped over the fridge, on the committee of the LGBT Soc at uni, all that. You know, if we're sexuality-spectrum-ing ourselves."

"Same, gay," said Niall, with a shrug. "I tried going out with girls when I was, like, fourteen, then snogged this boy down the arcade one night and I was like, sure, that's that, then."

"Eh," said Harry, holding his hand out and wobbling it. "It varies. Sorta depends on the person, I suppose?"

"That's cool," said Niall. "I'm jealous, I sometimes wish I liked boobs. They look really great, but then I get the heebie-jeebies thinkin' about touching them, so. Anyway, not the place to talk about boobs, I reckon. Liam, what do you do?"

"Oh," said Liam, still processing. He'd never been around this many people talking this openly about sexuality and all that, before. It had taken him months to pluck up the courage to tell his best friend Jade he was bi - and now she never bloody shut up about it, trying to set him up with boys. His mates from home, his other coworkers, they just didn't talk about stuff like this, especially not all casually like it wasn't a big deal; he couldn't fathom it. This - this was weird. This was kind of brilliant.

"Um," he said, dragging his mind back on track. "Not very interesting, really. I work in a uni admissions office, full time, admin assistant. It's sometimes really boring and sometimes really stressful, but I work with pretty nice people - my colleague Jade was the one who convinced me into signing up to the site and going on this date, so. She'll be interested to hear about it turning out like this."

"Send that woman some flowers," declared Louis, then, "Ooh, food!"

There was silence for about five seconds as everyone dug in, then before the first mouthful had gone down conversation broke out; Niall wanted to try one of Zayn's wedges, Louis wanted to know if Harry's chicken tasted _happy_ , Harry leant over and stole the chorizo off Liam's pizza, while Niall snuck in while he was distracted and stole a whole leg off Harry's half-chicken.

"The food thieves at this table," Zayn was marvelling.

"I grew up with four younger sisters, you had to learn guerilla warfare at the dinner table," said Louis, who'd managed to steal a whole slice of Liam's pizza without Liam even noticing.

"Hey!" said Liam.

"Steal some back, if you can," said Louis with a sharp grin. Liam exchanged glances with Niall, who promptly distracted Louis by asking about his sisters so Liam could dive in and wind some of Louis's tagliatelle onto his fork. It was a bit messy, the tablecloth was a casualty, but overall the mission was successful, and Louis stared at them both with narrowed eyes. "Fair play," he said eventually, and attacked Niall's chicken burger with gusto.

After about ten minutes, you could hardly tell who'd had what meal at the start.

"Talking about kids on a school trip," said Liam, shaking his head, though his plate was as bad as the rest of them.

"Ah, like you're all innocent, look at you," said Niall, who had something – maybe Louis's pasta sauce - on his eyebrow. "Think we've thoroughly corrupted the teacher."

"I used to be so sensible," said Liam in mock despair. "What have you done to me?"

"Looks good on you, bit of mischief," said Zayn, and Liam swallowed.

"He's right," said Niall. He grinned. "When you laugh, your eyes get all scrunched up. It's cute."

"Um," said Liam. "Thanks?" He had never been able to deal with anyone flirting with him, let alone multiple people at once.

"Oh," said Zayn, suddenly, looking at Niall. "You got some--" and he reached out to wipe the little splotch of sauce off Niall's eyebrow, slowly and deliberately, face close to Niall's, the touch lingering.

"I," said Niall, looking dazed, and who could blame him. "Th-thanks."

"Definitely a five-way date," said Harry, sounding delighted.

"No-one's flirted with _me_ yet," said Louis.

Harry turned to him, eyebrows raising smoothly. "Did it hurt?" he said.

"What?" said Louis.

"When your dad stole the stars - no, wait. There's something to do with heaven--"

"Oh my god," groaned Louis.

"It's a good thing you're pretty," said Liam, laughing.

"Liam thinks I'm pretty," said Harry immediately, grinning.

"Well," said Liam, feeling bold, "you are."

"Oi, hey!" said Niall, snapping out from his daze. "Zayn hasn't done his introduction yet."

"Oh god, I'm sorry! I promise I hadn't forgotten you," said Liam, mortified, but Zayn just shrugged and smiled.

"S'okay."

"You're pretty quiet," Louis observed, looking interested.

Liam giggled. "Not everyone is as loud as you, Louis."

"Hey!" said Louis. "I resemble that remark."

Zayn just shrugged good-naturedly. "Yeah, I reckon. I dunno." He smirked. "Only say important stuff, though, don't I, not rambling on about bullshit."

Louis pointed a finger at him dramatically across the table. "That is a harsh blow! Harsh, but possibly entirely accurate." He flicked his fingers. "Continue."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the permission, mate."

"You said you were getting your Masters?" Harry said, steepling his fingers under his chin.

"Yeah, part time, like. In Art History. I work part time in the gift shop at the Tate Modern - close enough to the dream, innit?"

"That's cool, though," said Liam. "Like, it must be a sick place to work. Do you do your own art?"

Zayn rubbed at the back of his neck. "Ah, a bit. I rent out this studio and I do these like, graffiti stylised pieces, sell a few on this online shop."

"Can we see?" said Niall immediately.

"Yeah, I wanna see!" said Harry.

"Are you gonna be a famous artist when Niall is a famous musician? Can I be a professional groupie?" asked Louis.

"No, I don't like, carry any around with me! They're kind of big, anyway."

Niall shrugged. "After you all come see me play we can go admire Zayn's art," he said casually, and it was scary and ridiculous that Liam got a curl of warmth in his belly at that, like it was just a given they'd see each other again after this, making plans like it was no big deal. It wasn't going to be like a date, though, it couldn't be. It would just be like a group of friends hanging out, even if they were all fit. It was stupid - and frankly impractical - for Liam to feel disappointed at that.

"Aw, we're nearly done," said Louis, sounding disappointed when he looked around and people's plates were mostly empty, food scarfed down in between conversation. Liam had seen Harry talk with his mouth full like three times and still sort of wanted to kiss him. He was quite sure that was something special.

"Not necessarily," said Zayn. "We can have pudding and after dinner drinks, and stuff. We don't have to up and leave just because we finished eating."

"Wise words," said Niall, grinning.

"The chocolate fudge cake looked nice," said Zayn, "but I don't think I'd finish it, I'm kind of full."

"I can share it with you?" offered Liam, then went red as Louis catcalled.

"Five-way date," said Harry, leaning back in his chair smugly.

By the time they'd ordered and finished dessert, Liam maybe had to agree with him, even though it was ridiculous. Zayn had fed him a forkful of cake and butterflies had swept through Liam's tummy in a dizzying stream; Louis had had his ankle pressed up against Liam's for the past ten minutes; Niall had returned the favour by thumbing a tiny smear of chocolate sauce from the corner of Zayn's mouth; Louis had accidentally used Harry's napkin and they'd broken out into the world's gentlest slapfight, pink-cheeked and giggling by the end.

"Are we gonna," said Liam, then bit his lip as everyone's heads swiveled to face him. "I mean, like. Are we going to--" He trailed off hopefully.

"Stay longer?" said Niall.

"Have a drink?" tried Louis.

"Shag?" said Harry unhelpfully.

"No!" said Liam slapping both of his hands down on the table in a mixture of amusement and frustration.

"Do this again?" said Zayn, finally, with a little smile.

"Thank you," said Liam. "See, Zayn gets me."

"That is the question, though," said Niall. "I mean, I had a really nice time and on any other date I'd be thinking about how to get A, a kiss, and B, another date. But we do need to, like, work this out."

"So we do it again," said Harry, shrugging. "This was better, way better, than any of the other dates I've gone on, so it would be stupid to let it die here, just because it's a bit different."

"A _bit_ ," spluttered Liam. "I mean - again? As five? I don't - I mean. That's ridiculous."

"We could like, pair off instead? Pick straws?" said Niall, looking unimpressed at his own idea.

"There's five of us, you bleeding idiot, someone would be left out!" said Louis.

"Oh, yeah."

"Also," said Harry, "that won't work, I'd be too jealous of who got Niall."

"So, you get Niall," said Liam, even though that felt terribly unfair because then he wouldn't get Niall. Or Harry.

"But then I'll be jealous of whoever got Zayn. And Liam and Louis, if I'm honest. I'm a younger sibling, I'm spoiled. Veruca Salt, you know."

Liam put both of his hands flat on the table. "But - we can't all five go on another date," he said desperately.

Zayn made a dissenting noise and Louis frowned.

"Why not?" said Harry.

"Because," said Liam, "That doesn't happen. We could just, like. Hang out? As friends?"

Louis pulled a thoughtful face, and Zayn did a sort of nod that managed to not commit to anything.

Harry curled his lip in disapproval. "No, but, you’re all really hot. Like, I want to bang you all. I’m not going to pretend I don’t."

Niall shrugged. "Same. If I’m hanging out with you and having a good time and we want to shag each other, it sounds like a date to me."

"In a normal situation, maybe, but--" Liam tried.

"Do you find us all attractive, Liam?" said Louis, with an eyebrow waggle.

God help him, but he did. "Well yes," he said, heat surging to his cheeks yet again, "but. I don't - more than two people can't go out, and especially not _five_. Life doesn't work that way."

"Well," said Harry solemnly, "a few years ago people said men couldn't go out with each other. And that is obviously wrong. So who says five people can't go out, if they all like each other and want to? The Man?" That was clearly capitalised. The Man. "Fuck The Man!"

"Or fuck the men, hopefully," supplied Zayn quietly, and Niall nearly fell out of his chair laughing.

"Um, I’m not sure that’s the same," said Liam, though he couldn't quite work out exactly why, but it had to be different, surely.

The conversation was cut short by Lucy bringing over the bill and the confusion of trying to split it. If one person had shown up, Liam would have happily paid for the whole meal, but five meals and drinks was beyond the reach of his mediocre salary; Harry was insistent he pay more because his meal was more expensive; Niall said that was offset by the fact everyone else had one extra drink; and after it nearly came to fisticuffs, they ended up splitting the bill five even ways, which is what Zayn had calmly suggested as soon as it had arrived. These boys were absolutely ridiculous. Liam didn't want them to walk out of his life.

Liam led them out of the restaurant and far enough from the entrance that they weren't in the way. They huddled to the side of the pavement, breath coming in white gusts in the cold wintry air. Louis shivered and wrapped his scarf around his whole face so only his blue eyes peeked out, and Niall pulled him into his side. Zayn's skin fairly glowed in the streetlights, and Harry's hair lifted in the wind. Liam wanted to go out with all four of them. But--

"So, I just don't see how--" he started.

Four faces looked at him obstinately, like they'd all made up their minds that Harry was being utterly rational and of course five people could go out, like that was simple.

Liam felt terribly square and old fashioned and despondent, suddenly. He shoved his hands into his pockets, not thinking about how he wanted to reach out and take Harry's gloved hand in his. "Look – maybe, if you think it would work like that, maybe, you know, you four just. Like." It hurt to say it, like he was breathing in the icy air far too quickly, and he stopped. He could force the rest of the words out in a minute. He just wasn't cut out for this, and they were all cool and worldly, like their brains weren't tying themselves into a messy double-knot at just the mere thought of it. "You lot, just--" He made a hand gesture to try and convey 'date each other while I go home on my own and eat a whole multipack of Skips' because he didn't really want to say it, but he had to, really.

"No!" said Harry loudly when it clicked, looking genuinely angry, while Louis gasped so widely his scarf fell down off his face; Zayn looked like someone had just bought him a puppy and then kicked it in the face in front of him, and Niall darted across the rough circle they'd formed and clung to him, worked his arm through Liam's so they were hooked together.

"What a load of rubbish," said Niall. "As if!"

"This absolutely wouldn't work without you," said Harry. "Not that I don't like everyone here loads, but it just - I don't know, it would just go wrong if you weren't part of it." He pouted and grabbed onto Zayn's hand as though for comfort. "It wouldn't work without one of any of us."

"Absolutely," said Zayn flatly, staring at Liam intently, even as his thumb rubbed soothingly over the back of Harry's hand. Liam wanted to see them kiss. He ruthlessly stamped down on the thought.

Louis looked smug, surveying the rest of them then nodding at Liam, before darting in for a terribly surprising smack of a kiss to his cheek. "See? Not to guilt-trip you too much, Liam, but we've all had a lovely time, and unless you agree to five-way date us all again, we will all go our separate ways and cry for at least a whole week."

Liam's cheek tingled where Louis had kissed it; his arm was so warm where Niall was clinging on; the entire left side of his face where Harry and Zayn were staring felt lit up as though they were a floodlight.

He swallowed, then swallowed again, and opened his mouth to say it once and for all, that no, this wouldn't work, that maybe they should just all walk away and keep this as a weird story to tell and just stop it all right here, and instead he said, "We should go bowling."

 

\--

"So!" said Jade in an excitable whirl of hair as she crashed into Liam's bedroom and flung herself onto Liam's bed. "How was it? Obviously not entirely successful as you are alone in your own bed, but still, tell me everything. You didn't text me updates, I'm absolutely betrayed, you little shit, after all I did for yous."

"Whuh?" managed Liam, barely awake. Jade was a lot at the best of times, but in the first thirty seconds of being awake, it was not possible to process her. "How." Liam yawned hugely. "How did you get in?"

"Ruth let me in, duh," said Jade. "Did you tell her about your date?"

"No," said Liam, panic waking him up a bit. "No, so don't tell her."

"I won't, don't worry," said Jade comfortably, though she did flick him on the ear. "Is it because you haven't told her about the whole liking boys thing yet? You're an idiot. She won't give a monkey's."

"Yeah, well," said Liam grumpily, sitting up and trying to flatten down his hair. "I was waiting for there to be, like, a reason to say something."

"A date's a reason, you numpty! And speaking of. How did it go?"

"Um," said Liam, as the previous evening came back to him. He touched his cheek where Louis had kissed him without thinking about it. "It was." He had no idea how to explain it to himself, let alone to Jade. "Good?"

"You're going to have to give me more than that," she said. "Especially when you don't even look sure about it. What was he like? Was he fit? What was his name? Are you gonna see him again?"

"Er," said Liam. "Funny thing." He paused. "The, er. The website is a bit shit, turns out."

Jade's face fell. "Oh, no, pet, did no-one turn up? It's okay, we'll--"

"No, um," said Liam hastily. "The opposite problem. Look, this is weird, right? But like." He forced a laugh. "Four people showed up?"

Jade's face did a hilarious twisty thing. " _Four_? What do you mean? How the fuck did that happen?"

Liam shrugged. "Yeah, four. In, like, the clothes the website said, expecting to find me in the clothes it said I'd be wearing. It was a bit weird. We decided that the website must've matched me to four people at once by accident or something."

Jade laughed. "Oh my god, babe! What did you do? Did you pick your favourite?"

Liam really, really should have done that. Or drawn straws. Something. Except he could still remember each of their faces, more clearly than he thought was normal for just one evening of knowing someone, and that was, just. It would have been impossible.

Except going on another fivesome date was also impossible.

He flopped back down onto the bed groaning. "They were, like. They were all so nice. And all so fit. _Jade_."

"What? Oh my god, what did you do? Did you have a crazy orgy?"

"No!" He sat up, outraged. "You know me better than that!"

"Okay, but what's all this flopping and groaning about, Payno."

"We're going out again on Saturday. Shit. That's tonight." Nerves slammed into him dizzily.

"With which one?"

"I. Um. All of 'em."

Jade blinked, mouth open. He thought for a moment he'd surprised her speechless, but clearly that would take a bigger revelation.

"All five of you? On an actual date? Wait, is this like audition rounds? What's the bootcamp round? Is there gonna be a sex trial? The last one standing wins you? Can I call it the Sex Factor?"

"Jade, don't be ridiculous."

"You're the one going on a date with four boys at once, you harlot!"

"I have no idea what I'm doing," said Liam, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, "but I like them, and they seemed to think it was a great idea, and I didn't want to just go home on my own, so we're going bowling." He dropped his hands and looked at Jade hopefully. Perhaps she could make it all make sense.

Jade shut her mouth with an audible click and stared at him for a moment. "You know what? On the surface this seems like the least likely thing you would ever do, but actually? It's somehow so you."

"What?" said Liam, startled. "How on earth is this like me?"

"Because! It's like when you liked running at school, you nearly got on the Olympics team. Like when you took up boxing and ended up being West Midlands champion in your age group. Like when you realised you were quite good at singing and got through to the second round of auditions of X-Factor at fourteen bleedin' years old, and you would've gone further if your mum hadn't decided you were too young. Now you decide to go out with a boy, and you bloody end up with four of them fighting for you."

She launched herself at him unexpectedly and hugged him through the duvet. Liam felt weirdly emotional and hugged back, stroking her hair. "They're not fighting over me," he said, weakly. "They do all seem to want to go on a date with me, though, which is weird. It's not all about me, though, like. They all like each other too. It wouldn't work otherwise." He paused. "I mean, I don't really know how it's going to work _this_ way, but."

"It's not weird they like you," said Jade, sitting back and looking at him sternly. "You're brilliant, of course any boy would want to go out with you, even four of them. I'm just glad you like all of them, too. Now," she said, bounding off the bed and over to his wardrobe. "Most important question. What are you going to wear?"

Jade had been his best friend since he was twelve; she'd been there for him through everything, had moved to London with him after college when he'd followed his sister down, and though she liked to exaggerate a bit, Liam had never been more thankful for her. "You're amazing," he said fervently. "You do realise that."

"Pshh," she said, "'course I do. Now let's decide what outfit says 'fivesome bowling date'."

\--

From an unknown number: Hiiii, this is Harry. Thank you for giving us all your number. That was clever of you. Niall and I have a bet going about you. I will see you tonight. Don't be nervous none of us will bite... Unless you ask ;)

From an unknown number: LEEMO ! don't let me down tonight mate ! Its gona be great mate can't wait to see u smile again cutie ! Luv NIALLER

From an unknown number: hi Liam, it's zayn :) i hope you are okay today and haven't changed your mind about all this !! it's a bit scary i suppose but i want to see you again tonite :) x

From Sex God Ruler of the Universe Louis Tomlinson: HI Liam! i stole your phone while you were in the loo last night and put myself into your phone already, thank me later when i've beaten you all at bowling. PREPARE TO BE ANNIHILATED !

\--

To 'Harry (curly)': Someone had to organise ussss! Im nervus now did you bet on me to win or lose… See you tonite :)

To 'Niall (blondie)': Thanksss u are to :) i wont let you down i hope? See you sooooon!

To 'Zayn (model)': Thankyou :) it is a bit scary but i think its worth it? Looking for ward to seeing you toooooo x x

To 'Sex God Ruler of the Universe Louis Tomlinson': Ha ha joker! See you tonite, hope you like losing because your going down

\--

From Sex God Ruler of the Universe Louis Tomlinson: Oh AM I Liam ?!?!?! ;-)

\--

Liam arrived a few minutes after the time they’d said to meet, and at first he thought he was the first one there again, but then the crowds shifted and he saw Harry milling around just inside the entrance. It was so busy, but then, it was a Saturday night. Nerves twisted up inside Liam - a date, another one, not with one boy but with four, in a crowded public area, what on earth. Even with all that, there was a part of him that both settled and leaped in glee, seeing Harry. His pink mouth and serious little face as he looked at his phone, his ridiculous skinny jeans and excitable bouffant hair. And Harry liked him, wanted to see him again, and there were three other people he could say the same about.

Perhaps this really was an extended coma-dream. It was starting to seem more likely.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, walking up to Harry. Harry's face lit up when he saw Liam, dimples popping in, and he gave Liam a huge hug, arms wrapping right around him. "Liam!" he said, happily, and he smelled so lovely.

"Hi," said Liam again, pulling back, then impulsively swooping in for a kiss on Harry's cheek before pulling back and acting like his cheeks weren't on fire.

"Oh," said Harry, looking delighted. "Hi to you, too." He leaned in, keeping eye contact like he was checking it was okay, then kissed Liam's cheek gently in reply.

"Wow, you're disgustingly cute," said Niall's voice from just behind Liam. "Do I get one, too?"

"Of course," said Liam, a giddy fizzing in his chest. He slid a hand over Niall's shoulder and gave him a kiss on the cheek, too; his cheek was so soft and warm under Liam's lips.

"I like this idea," Harry declared, and followed suit, giving Niall a smacking kiss on the cheek. Niall grinned widely and gave Harry and then Liam one in return.

There was a lull, then, Zayn and Louis not showing up yet. Niall launched into a story about a customer in the shop today who'd tried to return a three day old half-eaten sausage roll and demanded to speak to the manager when Niall pointed out that their returns policy didn't exactly apply to half-eaten food past its sell-by date, and Harry rejoined with a story about a customer who possibly tried to return a cupcake, or possibly who stole one, Liam wasn't quite sure.

Harry told the story in a terribly roundabout sort of a way, and Liam was starting to worry he was just too thick to understand, when Niall said, in a tone of awe, "You're literally making absolutely no sense. Like you've been telling this story for over three minutes and I still can't tell if Perrie is the customer or a coworker."

Harry frowned. "She's my coworker, obviously. And she had the cupcake in her bag...weren't you listening?"

"I had no idea either, mate," said Liam, addressing it to Niall. "I think maybe we have a way to go before we can properly translate Harry-ese."

"Oh, fine, you can both fuck off, then," said Harry, but he was smiling.

"Hey," said Zayn, arriving looking a bit flustered. "Sorry I'm late. Tube."

"Hi, it's okay," said Liam, a ball of worry he hadn't even known he was carrying dissolving warmly in his stomach. Without warning he leaned in to kiss Zayn's cheek - the prickle of stubble was exciting and Zayn smelled so nice that Liam lingered a second, then promptly blushed when he pulled back to see Zayn's raised eyebrows.

"Sorry," he said. "I just - hi."

"It's a thing we're doing now," explained Harry, and stepped in for his own cheek kiss, hand settling comfortably on Zayn's hip for a second before sliding off. They fit together really beautifully, except then Niall did, too, the shock of his blond hair lovely against the sleek black of Zayn's quiff when they put their heads together.

Zayn returned the favour to all of them, a smile pulling at his mouth, and his lips felt plush and soft as they kissed the top of Liam's cheekbone.

"I haven't had so many cheek kisses since me brother's wedding," said Niall, grinning. "And they were mostly wrinkly old cheeks. This is much better."

"I had quite a lot of cheek kisses when my mate dragged me to an art gallery opening the other week," said Harry thoughtfully, "but they were all the stupid air-kiss ones where you just sort of--" he made a bumping motion with his hands. "Smoosh the sides of your faces together for a nanosecond. No lip contact. I much prefer lip contact."

"Oh, I bet you do, Harold," said Louis, arriving with a flourish and no apology for being nearly fifteen minutes late. "Come on then, give me your best."

"Louis!" said Harry, beaming, and Liam smiled too. The five of them together made something just seem to click softly, settle into place, the urge to keep looking over his shoulder for the last of them to arrive suddenly and pleasantly snipped off.

Harry leaned in and gave Louis a loud wet kiss on the cheek, then grinned and stuck his tongue out, licked a stripe along Louis's cheekbone.

"Gah!" said Louis cringing back and scowling, or at least trying to, in a poor attempt to disguise the stupid grin on his face. "Jesus, alright, Spot." He wiped his face off while Harry looked terribly smug.

"Wow, Harry," said Niall, frowning at Harry. "That's pretty disgusting, mate. Sorry he did that," he said to Louis.

"That's okay," said Louis tentatively.

"I'll do it proper," said Niall, still shaking his head a bit at Harry. He leaned in and gave Louis a soft, affectionate kiss on the cheek - then without warning grabbed Louis's head in both his hands and stuck out his tongue and licked an even bigger and wetter stripe right from Louis's jawline upwards.

"Oh my fucking god!" shrieked Louis, shoving Niall away and scrubbing furiously at his face. "I'm going home! This is war! This isn't sexy, lads, I'm not into bestiality, you human canines!"

Liam couldn't breathe from laughing, the others not much better off, while Louis put his hands on his hips and looked around at them all, looking torn between being put out that they were laughing at him and basking in the attention.

"I'm not kissing you back," he declared to Niall and Harry. "You don't deserve it. But I still want kisses. Zayn, you won't defile my beautiful face, will you?"

"Nah," said Zayn, laughter subsiding. "Don't know where it's been, do I?" Before Louis could protest, Zayn caught his chin gently in his hand and tugged him in, pressed his lips right to the middle of Louis' cheek, eyelashes fluttering shut for a second. Their cheekbones were practically obscene together like that, and Liam felt breathless looking at them. Seemed to shut Niall and Harry up, too.

Louis coughed and cleared his throat when Zayn pulled back. "Yes," he said, "Um, well. Thank you. Much more like it." He looked a bit dazed - very understandable - and darted in to give Zayn a lingering kiss in return.

Then he turned to Liam, giving him his full attention for the first time, and Liam felt the warmth of it and grinned helplessly.

"Hi," he said.

"Very glad you came along, you brave little soldier," said Louis, a line between teasing and sincerity in his voice that Liam couldn't quite work out which side it fell on, which he supposed was the point.

"Thanks," he said, and Louis grinned and pressed a kiss to Liam's cheek, lips open just enough for Liam to feel the promise of the heat and dampness inside his mouth for a second. Then he tapped his finger demandingly on his own cheek. Liam went in for a kiss, but at the last second Louis turned his head towards Liam, so the kiss fell right on the corner of Louis's mouth, and the feeling of the edge of his lips against Liam's was shocking and lovely for a second before Liam pulled back, sucking in a breath, his belly dipping hotly.

"Oh, no fair!" said Niall. "No stealing kisses. The first kiss between us lot has to happen organically. Louis is a cheating little shit." His smile was sort of proud and fond, though.

"Think Louis being a little shit is organic, to be fair," said Zayn, smirking.

"Zayn, you are a smart man," said Louis, grandly. "Full of wisdom and knowledge."

"Can't blame you, can I? Who here wouldn't want to steal a kiss from our Liam."

"Um," said Liam trying to wrench his brain back on track, but his lips were still tingling where Louis's had been and he couldn't seem to stop grinning. "We should - like, get the - lane and stuff--"

"Liam," said Harry, seriously, "you're so fucking cute I can't stand it, honestly. That wasn't even a kiss and look how red you are. What are you going to do when I get to kiss you properly?"

 _When_ , oh god. "I," said Liam, shrugging a bit awkwardly. "I hadn't kissed a boy before, so."

"Babe," said Zayn, and Liam felt his hand slip into Liam's and squeeze for a second.

Niall was looking at him in a way that made Liam think he either wanted to snog him or hug him, and he wasn't sure what sounded better right now.

"Let's go get the lane sorted out, Liam's right," said Niall. "Get some drinks in, too."

"Oh, yes," said Louis, rubbing his hands together. "Kissing's all well and good, but we have a _game_ to play."

He turned to head for the reception desk, then spun back around, rolled his eyes, said "Fine, don't look at me like that," - even though Liam didn't think anyone had really been looking at him like anything - and gave Harry and Niall the kisses on the cheeks he'd denied them earlier, then headed over to reception again.

Louis had booked them a lane - with a seemingly surprising amount of forethought, though Liam suspected that that sort of thing would become less surprising the more you really got know Louis - and they paid with luckily only minimal bickering, then queued for the shoes. They had what Liam thought his mum would term a _squabble_ over shoe sizes - Louis seemed convinced he had the same size feet as Harry even when Harry physically removed one of Louis's shoes and held it up against his own - and pissed off the people behind them in the queue something rotten when they didn't realise the people in front of them had moved on for ages. Liam would have been mortified any other time, but somehow with these lads, it was just funny, the disapproving looks and pursed mouth sour faces - "like a dog's arsehole," Zayn muttered in his ear. Liam snorted a laugh just as the girl behind the counter handed over the garishly coloured bowling shoes, which just made him laugh even more and her roll her eyes.

They ribbed each other about their ugly shoes, then Louis grabbed Niall and dragged him over to the bar to get them a round while Zayn and Harry started programming in the screen in their lane - so of course, by the time drinks were handed out and they were ready to play, the five players in their lane were, according to the screen:

Irish CREAM  
Littlefoot  
Aladdin  
Harry is the best  
Greedy Liam needs 4 boys

"Oh my god," said Liam when he saw. "It was the _website_ \--"

"We know," said Zayn. "But it's funny, yeah?"

Harry shushed him. "Quiet, greedy, it's time to play."

Louis squawked in outrage when he looked up from his pint. "Who was that? Who did that? I am not - how come Zayn gets to be _Aladdin_ \- I demand a recount--"

"Littlefoot was cute," said Zayn, lazily. "If he hadn't been a dinosaur and, like, five, I would've fancied him. He was all determined and noble."

Louis still looked mutinous. "If we're going to be cartoon characters I want to be Robin Hood. He was hot for a fox," he said, ducking away when Zayn tried to mess with his hair, that smile he always tried to hide pulling at his lips again.

"Harry, your imagination astounds me," said Niall. "That was really the best you could come up with?"

"Think I blew my load on Irish cream," Harry admitted, then, "Oh, for fuck's--" when the rest of the boys went " _Ohh_!"

"Whatever, you're all knobs," said Harry, pouting and going over to select a bowling ball. There were none apparently to his satisfaction in the automatic ball-return in the middle of their lane so he went to the racks along the back.

"Harry, you're fourth up, you don't need your ball yet," said Liam, grinning.

"I want to make a joke about balls," said Niall, "but I feel like I have to save it for the right moment."

"Psh, are you serious?" said Louis. "We're at a bowling alley, there is literally no limit to the number of balls jokes you're allowed to make. The more jokes about balls, the better. In fact, the more balls in general the better, I've found."

"Definitely my life philosophy," said Niall. "Ooh, don't talk about balls too much, though, Liam'll go all red again." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Get bent," said Liam pleasantly, belly going warm at the way Zayn barked a laugh. "And bloody bowl, you're up first."

"Alright, alright, relax, I'm bowling, I'm chucking a ball at a load of plastic whatsits, don't get your knickers in a twist." Niall picked up a ball for the middle without checking it, then swore colourfully when Louis pissed himself laughing when he nearly got his fingers stuck in the too-small finger holes.

He picked another ball, flipped a finger up at Louis, and chucked it haphazardly down the lane. It swerved quickly and neatly to the right and slotted happily into the gutter, rolling lazily all the way down and past every single pin.

"Yeah!" celebrated Niall, arms up. "Wooo! Yeah!" He turned around and gave a deep bow, then a curtsey.

"Wow," said Harry, wandering back over with a marbled green bowling ball. "You're shit at this."

"You ain't seen nothing yet," said Niall.

He turned out to be right. Even the few balls that didn't go in the gutter either managed to be going so slowly that they barely managed to force one pin over, or took the exact path to avoid every pin left standing after he managed to get one down in his first shot.

Zayn was mediocre and didn't seem to care whether he got any down at all, putting way more energy into cheering the rest of them in than throwing the ball. Harry started off incredibly focused and competitive, but no matter how hard he frowned at the lane and how long he spent positioning himself for the shot, the ball always swerved madly to the left, half the time going into the gutter, the rest of the time knocking a good half of the pins over but no more.

Louis was rather good; he messed around, but when it actually came to throwing the ball he went all focused and determined, which was weirdly attractive. He learned quickly and improved rapidly, and it was pretty soon coming down to being between Liam and Louis.

Liam had been bowling with his family quite a few times and knew he was good, and at first he was sure he was going to win, which he was pleased about. He wasn't terribly competitive, really, but he really liked being good at things; and being good at things in front of boys he wanted to impress, well, that was kind of brilliant, their impressed faces and cheers when Liam got another strike. But Louis was coming up fast alongside him, hitting strikes more regularly, and Liam narrowed his eyes.

"You got this, Liam!" cheered Niall.

"Go, Louis!" Harry yelled.

"Why have you taken taken sides so suddenly?" asked Zayn, who cheered equal-opportunity.

"No reason," said Niall, too innocently.

Liam pointed at him. "Harry told me you had a bet on. So, let me guess, Niall bet on me to win and Harry bet on me to lose?"

"Not to lose!" said Harry, looking outraged. "I bet that Louis would win, but that it would be against you."

"Well, of course," said Louis smugly, giving Harry an approving nod, before putting his hands on his hips. "Hang on a second, how did you know? How could you tell it would be me versus Liam?"

Niall shrugged. "I dunno, mate. I knew I was shit, and I was pretty sure Harry would be shit--"

"Hey," said Harry mildly.

"--and I didn't think Zayn would really care enough either way to be very good. But Liam is obviously the sporty one, and Louis seems like he'd be stubborn like a little terrier, right? Fighting 'til he was top dog."

"I suggested a bet," said Harry, "and Niall came at me with all this, like reasoning and shit. So I went for Louis, and Niall thought Liam."

"Close one," admitted Niall, "but I thought general sporting prowess plus general ambition would win out over stubbornness to win."

"Got us all pegged already," said Zayn, looking unruffled, leaning back in the both around their lane like he was part of a photo shoot. He even managed to make the vile shoes look like something out of Gucci.

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted," said Louis, rolling his bowling ball from one hand to the other, "but I will go with flattered, Harry, thank you. I promise your faith will not go misplaced."

Liam grinned. "I'm still beating you, mate."

"We have two rounds to go!" said Louis immediately, "and technically, _technically_ , if my winning streak continues on like this, my exponential improvement means I am going to win, so. What do we win?"

Harry grinned beatifically at him. "A kiss."

"Oh," said Liam involuntarily, then rolled his eyes at himself as he felt himself start to go red, not helped when everyone looked at him. "Do we get a say in this?"

"Of course," said Harry seriously, "but we're assuming, or, like, hoping, that everyone here wants to kiss, well, everyone here."

Five heads nodded obediently.

"Fantastic," said Niall. "So, if Liam wins the game, I win the bet, and I get to kiss Liam."

"But if Louis wins, then I win, and I get to kiss Louis," said Harry.

"So much for _organic_ , huh, Niall," said Louis, sardonically.

"Hey, didn't want you stealing our thunder, did we?" said Niall, grinning unrepentantly.

"Do I get to kiss the loser?" said Zayn unexpectedly, smirking when they looked at him. "Consolation prize, like."

"Fuck," said Louis, looking torn. "I was about to throw the game, because, Zayn, but then, you know, Harry."

"Same," said Liam fervently, looking between Niall and Zayn.

Louis just looked at him. Niall and Harry were frantically whispering. "Shall we just play?"

It was Louis's go next, and he spent ages selecting the right ball. Liam watched him intently, preparing for the shot, and sucked in a breath when Louis threw a perfect smooth fast ball right down the middle of the lane, clattering all the pins over for a flawless strike.

" _Yes_!" he crowed, arms going up in the air, but his celebration was cut short as Zayn went, "Hey!" loudly behind them.

Liam and Louis both whirled around to see Harry and Niall snogging enthusiastically on the bench seat.

Liam's mouth fell open, and he thought maybe he should be annoyed that they'd promised him kisses and instead just gone for it themselves, but they looked so lovely together - Harry's big hand carefully cupping Niall's ruddy cheek, the slip of their pink lips together - that he couldn't really be anything but awed, and the long silence, aside from Zayn's initial exclamation, from the other two meant they probably thought the same.

Then Louis snapped out of it. "Oi, lovebirds!" he said. "What's all this, then?"

Niall made a little noise, eyes fluttering, and looked like he was going to pull away, but Harry kept him in the kiss with his fingers tightening on his cheek for a another moment, before letting him go with a slick sound, audible even over the cheesy pop music pumping over the speakers.

"Sorry," said Harry, licking his red lips distractingly. "All that talk about kissing, we got sort of--"

"Distracted," said Niall, looking a bit abashed. "He was just there, and, you know."

"In my defence," said Harry, "have you seen this boy?"

"Oh, I have," said Louis, "which is why I'm mad you're hogging him! Especially getting my hopes up with all this talk of kissing--"

"Well, yes," said Niall, mouth distractingly red. "We decided we were bored of everyone talking about it and not doing it."

That sounded like very sound advice to Liam, so as Louis opened his mouth, preparing to be outraged a bit more, Liam screwed up all his courage and stepped in close to kiss him.

His whole body lit up at the contact; it was an awkward kiss, his lips pursed up against Louis's mouth half-open in his rant, but it felt wonderful anyway, Louis's mouth all warm and right there.

He pulled back quickly and licked his lips. "Um," he said, "there you go. Now you get a kiss too."

Louis blinked at him, said "Liam," in a tone of awe, and grabbed Liam's t-shirt and pulled him back in, kissing him again. It was a proper kiss this time, their heads tilting just right into position, mouths slipping together. Louis turned it a bit dirty immediately, coaxing Liam's mouth open until they were properly snogging, right there in public, Liam was snogging a boy, and it was so, _so_ lovely.

He pulled away reluctantly this time, face flaming as he glanced at the others all staring at them. "I, um." They were getting a couple of looks from the lanes either side of them, too, and once Liam had thought that would be terrible - touching a boy in public, people would stare, and it had felt like it would be horrible, but Liam didn't even care right now that they were looking or what they might be thinking. He felt smug, he felt lucky, like everyone should be jealous.

"Liam, mate, I didn't think you had it in you," said Niall, sounding impressed.

"His mouth. Your mouth, Liam," said Louis, sounding flustered for the first time since Liam had known him, which made satisfaction curly warmly in his chest. "You have to taste him, lads."

"Um," said Liam.

"Feeling a bit left out here," said Zayn. He was smiling, glancing between Harry and Niall who still had their legs pressed together, and Liam and Louis who were standing close together.

Liam stepped towards him - he wanted to kiss Zayn so, so much, because he was gorgeous and kind and even though he didn't look upset or anything, it still wasn't fair that everyone else had got kissed and he hadn't - but stopped suddenly. Kissing one boy in public was apparently fine, but two different ones within a minute might be a bit much, especially for the sour-faced family in the lane to their left. "Um," he said, instead. "Can we go somewhere else? A bit more - away from people?" He looked at Zayn as he said it, and Zayn nodded, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. Wow.

Harry cackled. "One kiss and look at this boy, wanting to take us all home!"

"I'm, I mean," said Liam quickly, not sure how to say that he wasn't quite up for an orgy just yet. "I'd just really like to kiss Zayn too, somewhere I won't get glared at by middle aged couples."

Liam jumped a bit when Louis came up behind him, snaking one arm around his waist, lifting his chin to rest it on Liam's shoulder. "I like the way you think," he said, the feel of his breath sending maddening goosebumps prickling down Liam's neck and the whole left side of his body. "I'd like to get my mouth on some of these fine lads too. But Liam," he said, then kissed the side of Liam's neck just below his ear, "what about the game? I like to win."

"Er," said Liam. He knew how to speak, he did, but words seemed far less important, somehow, than the promise of Louis's teeth on his neck. "I think you win. My concentration is long gone."

"Yep, you definitely win," said Niall, already shrugging on his jacket, as Harry started loosening the laces of his shoes.

Zayn downed the rest of his pint. "Louis wins, we're all agreed," he said. "Now let's get out of here."

Waiting to get their shoes was torture; Louis decided that Liam kissing him was permission to hang all over him, dropping cheeky little kisses on his neck and cheek, hands sliding possessively over Liam’s hips with a casual intimacy that was doing crazy things to Liam’s breathing.

Niall had slipped one arm around Zayn’s waist while Harry stood on his other side and tangled their fingers together, and it looked so nice and natural that Liam didn’t get for a moment why they were getting funny looks. He shook his head. He was becoming rapidly okay with this whole unconventional dating thing.

They spilled out of the bowling alley and walked towards the tube, swept along in the general current of foot traffic. It was raining slightly, and Liam saw Zayn tip his head up into it, slightly, the lights of the passing traffic sliding over his face, and he couldn't wait 'til they got wherever they decided to go.

"Um," he said, then a bit louder, "hold on guys, can we just--?"

He looked around, saw the alcove of the door of a closed shoe shop, and herded them into the small space, pedestrians carrying on past them, uncaring.

"You alright, Liam?" said Niall, frowning, and they all crowded in around him.

"No," he said, "I mean, yes, I'm fine, I just--" He caught Zayn's gaze, and suddenly Zayn was standing right in front of him, the others arranged between them and the street, effectively hiding them in their alcove, a hot, private little place for the five of them. Even as the roar of traffic on the wet roads and chatter of pedestrians came through clearly, it seemed oddly quiet in this little shop doorway.

"Seem to remember saying you wanted to kiss me," said Zayn, quietly, so close Liam could see his ridiculous eyelashes, starfishing together in the dampness from the rain, and couldsmell his aftershave.

"I did," Liam said, "well, I do," and he did.

Zayn's hands came up straightaway to cup Liam's face, thumbs resting on his cheekbones. His mouth was unbelievably soft and warm, and Liam could feel the strange harsh prickle of his stubble when he pressed in a bit harder, and it made something squirm hotly in his belly. He breathed out through his nose, and then their mouths opened slow and hot into each other, and they were kissing, a deep, slow, thorough snog that made Liam feel warm from the tips of his ears right down to his toes.

He didn't realise Zayn was slowly walking him backwards until he felt rough bricks against his shoulders. He leaned back into the wall gratefully, letting Zayn crowd up into him, still cradling his face with both hands; Zayn wasn't taller than him, but he felt like it right now, leaning over Liam with his tongue tracing a devastatingly soft path along the inside of his lower lip, and something in Liam thrilled hotly at the feeling, wanting to just tilt his head up into Zayn and let himself be kissed.

Zayn pulled away gently, and Liam needed to give himself a moment, closing his eyes and hoping the world would stop wobbling when he opened them again. Zayn kept one hand on his face, and he was smiling when Liam opened his eyes and looked back at him.

"That was like something out of a film," said Niall, sounding awed, and Liam winced and rubbed a hand over his face. He hadn't forgotten they were there, and he didn't mind them watching - there was a small hot part of him that interestingly really liked it - but it was still, it was still something. Three people avidly watching him as he got unbelievably well kissed, like it was worth watching.

"Liam, you are practically swooning," announced Louis, reaching out and catching Liam's hand in his.

"That looked amazing," said Harry. "We have to get a move on and go somewhere more comfortable, because bagsy me next for a Zayn kiss."

"Prepare yourself, it's something," said Liam.

"God," said Zayn, looking down, "this is mad. Isn't this, like, so mad?"

He was smiling, though.

"I keep having those moments, mate," said Louis, "and then I'm like -- mad, but brilliant."

Zayn nodded. "Yeah. Mad, but brilliant." He looked at Liam. "Louis was right, you know. You do taste incredible."

"No, really, let's _go_ ," said Harry, looking anguished.

"Where exactly are we going?" said Niall. "We can't keep escaping into doorways for a snog."

"My, er," said Harry. "Not to be too, like, presumptuous, but my flat is only two stops away on the District line, so, we could go to mine? Just, we can chill out and have some beer and, you know."

"Snog a bit," said Niall happily.

Harry beamed. "I'm hoping."

"Okay," said Liam, and grabbed Zayn's hand determinedly, tugged a bit. "Let's go."

\--

Harry's flat was really nice: a one bedroom flat with hardwood flooring and pale walls, interesting mismatched furniture and cushions strewn seemingly everywhere.

"Um," he said, as they trooped in. "Sorry it's a bit of a mess--"

He randomly moved a few cushions around.

"Shh, it's lovely," said Liam, while Louis immediately went poking around, looking at the shelves and photos and bookcase.

"Christ man, this is well nice, how do you afford it?" asked Niall, then put his hand to his mouth. "Sorry," he said. "Ignore me, I'm an idjit sometimes."

Harry laughed. "Mate, it's fine. I wouldn't, on my own, but my mum and dad got it for me when I graduated from my culinary course. I pay them half the mortgage, like rent, and it's like, an investment for them, so."

"Well, I for one am very glad to benefit from your generous parents," said Louis, sitting down on one of the two squat, comfy looking sofas set around the telly. "I think you said something about beer?"

Zayn was leaning in the doorway to the living room, hands in the pockets of his black skinny jeans. "Think you said something about kisses," he said, and the tension in the room suddenly crackled tense, all warm anticipation. Liam found himself almost holding his breath as Harry walked over the room to Zayn, an easy grace in his movement, like, like a panther or something, though Liam was pretty sure whatever was about to happen would be a lot sexier than David Attenborough narrating a chase through the savannah.

"Think I did, didn't I?" said Harry, reaching Zayn and hooking a finger in one of his belt loops. Zayn smirked at him, taking his hands out of his pockets, putting one on Harry's hip and sliding the other around the back of his neck, his hips tilted towards Harry.

Liam could see his fingers playing in the curls at the back of Harry's neck, watching Harry shiver slightly, eyes falling half lidded. Niall was right, it felt like watching a film, the important moment at the end where the guy gets the girl, except gayer. Zayn tugged Harry in with film star confidence and Harry almost melted into him, their mouths open against each other immediately, Zayn's tongue flashing pink as he pressed it into Harry's mouth.

Zayn kissed Harry a bit differently to how he had Liam; a bit rougher, a bit faster, and Harry responded in kind, both his hands sliding around Zayn's back to fist in his jacket and drag him in close. Liam reckoned that was what made Zayn such a good kisser - knowing what someone wanted, what would make them feel all lit up and tingly all the way through, because he was absolutely sure Harry was feeling that. He could tell from the little noises Harry was making, if nothing else, these tiny whimpery noises in amongst the smacking wet sound of kissing, that Liam felt like bass in his chest. It felt almost too intimate and lovely to watch, even though he knew he wasn't intruding, that they wanted him to see.

He felt a bit breathless and overwhelmed, all the same.

"I'm gonna--" he said, and immediately Zayn and Harry broke apart with a wet sound, and looked at him, bright eyes and red mouths. Wow.

"You okay, Liam?" said Harry, voice rough.

"Yeah," said Liam, quickly, then made himself slow down and actually answer. "Yeah, I am." He smiled. "But I think I really need a beer."

Harry smiled slowly. "Yeah, think we all do. Kitchen's through there," he said, point to a door at the other end of the room. "I should have two six packs of Stella in the fridge."

"Classy," cackled Louis.

"I'll come with," said Niall, getting up from where he'd sat next to Louis on the couch.

"Thanks," said Liam. As soon as they got into the kitchen, Niall swung around and pulled Liam into a hug, making a protesting noise when Liam stiffened up, then saying, "Good," when Liam relaxed into it. Liam rolled his eyes but it was actually lovely, and he felt like he could settle into place a bit.

"Y'alright, Li, definitely?" said Niall, pulling back to look at Liam carefully.

"Yeah," said Liam. "Like, tonight is crazy, but it's also really good. I didn't - I dunno. Didn't expect it to be this good, like, enough that it makes up for how weird it is."

"Isn't it, though? My mate Eoghan--"

"The one in your band," put in Liam.

"Yeah!" said Nall, grinning hugely. "Yeah, him. He literally doesn't believe me, you know, and I can't blame him, sounds like a windup, doesn't it? Like, four fit lads all want to go out with me. Struggle to believe _one_ would, you know?"

"You shouldn't be surprised," said Liam, immediately. "When you were the first one to show up, like, at the date? I was immediately, like, oh no, because I thought you were so fit and that meant it mattered, that I had to impress you."

"Mate, same," said Niall, earnestly, then his face softened and he tilted his head a bit. "I know you said tonight's a bit much, but like - if you aren't all kissed out, I think it's my turn." He stroked a thumb over Liam's bottom lip, catching and pulling it slightly, and a prickle of heat swept through Liam.

"No," he said, and cleared his throat. "No, definitely not all kissed out."

"Good," said Niall, and kissed him.

Kissing Louis and getting kissed by Zayn had both been amazing, but a little bit terrifying; maybe it was third time's the charm, or maybe it was just Niall, because there was nothing scary at all about kissing Niall. His lips were smooth and sweet, and Liam sighed into the kiss, opening up, letting Niall's tongue slip in, slide along his.

Niall tasted incredible, something so sweet and boyish, and Liam felt greedy for it, suddenly, pressing himself forward into Niall, taking a couple of steps across the kitchen until Niall had his back up against the fridge, and Liam felt giddy, stepping right in close until his chest was bumping against Niall's and Niall's arm went around his back, hauling him in closer. Liam was getting lost in the snog, heart pounding hard and happy in his chest, a restlessness in his hips that he was daring to press into Niall, just a bit, just a ghost of pressure to make his breath catch; and Niall was pulling him in, noises getting caught between them when Louis said, "Getting beer my absolute arse, you sneaky little kissers," and they broke apart on a laugh, giggling into each other's mouths.

"Sorry, sorry," said Niall, fingers wound into the hem of Liam's t shirt. "I had to taste for myself, you going on about his mouth like that."

Louis smirked. "Worth it?"

"God yeah," Niall breathed out, looking at Liam's mouth, rubbing his thumb over Liam's bottom lip; it went smoothly this time, sliding along in the wetness of their kiss, and Liam's tummy swooped hotly like he was on a rollercoaster.

Liam had never been so aware of his own mouth before - how it might look to people, what people might think looking at it. He liked it, he reckoned, in a scary sort of way. Like he was sexy.

"Come on," he said, his voice sounding low and rough to his own ears. "Let's take the beer through."

"Last one kissing someone's a rotten egg!" shouted Louis, bounding back through to the living room as Liam and Niall tugged the cans out of the fridge.

Niall laughed, smooched Liam quickly on the lips, and followed Louis, and Liam was right after him.

In the living room, Louis wasn't wasting any time. He was straddling Zayn on the sofa, hands braced on the back of it, as they snogged deeply, and Harry was curled up next to Zayn, leaning forward to suck little kisses down the line of Louis's neck.

He made a pleased little noise when Liam and Niall walked in, and said, "C'mere, Niall, you can take over here. Think it's my turn on Liam."

"I'm not a ride at the funfair," said Liam, but he couldn't help but feel good, heart thumping pleasantly in his chest. He could still taste Niall on his lips, could still remember exactly how it had felt snogging both Louis and Zayn, and yet the only thing he could think looking at Harry was that it was mad he hadn't kissed him yet.

Niall wriggled eagerly in next to Zayn, and Zayn smoothly switched from kissing Louis to kissing Niall, as Louis made a little noise and bent in to kiss Zayn's neck. Liam never realised three people kissing at once could go so smoothly, and it was sort of mesmerising, until Harry pulled him down onto the couch opposite them, and put a careful hand on Liam's cheek and coaxed him to look at Harry.

"Hi," he said, with a silly grin. Liam wanted to touch his dimple, then remembered he could, so he pressed the pad of his thumb to it.

"Hi," he replied.

"Can I kiss you, Liam?" Harry asked politely.

"Please," said Liam fervently and leaned in to start the kiss; Harry's mouth was slightly open, so Liam caught his bottom lip between both of his and sucked it gently, as Harry groaned and grabbed at the back of his head.

"God," said Harry when Liam let his bottom lip go with a wet little pop, and pulled Liam in for a proper kiss, mouths open straightaway against each other, Harry's tongue insistent and clever in Liam's mouth.

It was a bit awkward, the angle, sitting next to each other, so Liam went with his instinct and turned a bit, leaning into Harry until Harry got the hint and fell back carefully onto the sofa, until Liam was braced above him, one elbow on the cushion next to Harry's head.

Harry was a fantastic kisser, deep and dirty, cheeky little flickers of his tongue that made Liam's breath catch over and over again in his chest, and the feeling - of the kissing, of all the kissing tonight, all the really gorgeous people all wanting him and kissing him, the feel of Harry laid out underneath him: he was almost all the way hard, his pulse pounding heavily in his dick, caught all fattening and eager in his pants. And he wasn't sure - this was intense enough for tonight, he didn't really want to do anything more about it, really, but he thought he could let himself down on to Harry, rest his chest and hips and the sensitive trapped heft of his dick down into Harry's solid warmth.

Harry made a cut-off little nose in his throat when Liam did so, spread his legs slightly so Liam's thigh could slot in between his, and tightened his grip on Liam's hips, but didn't make a big deal of it, didn't push up into it more than a single helpless hitch of his hips. Liam moaned quietly into the kiss as he put his full weight on Harry, the pressure against his dick so nice; the knowledge it was Harry's thigh between his legs that he was rocking down into sort of mindblowing; the ridge of Harry's own hard cock he could sense against his own hip even through all their clothes making him lose his breath.

Harry kept kissing him steady and deep, and part of Liam wanted to just keep going, start rocking his own leg properly between Harry's, grinding up against his erection, push his own dick into Harry's warmth the way his body was yelling at him to, just _rub_ , - but it was a bit much. He was light-headed with everything he was feeling and needed to slow it all down a bit.

He pulled away reluctantly from Harry's kiss and pressed his face into his neck instead, trying to catch his breath, and Harry immediately put a soothing hand in his hair, rubbing over his scalp.

"Alright?" he said, low, into Liam's ear.

"Yeah," said Liam, and nipped at Harry's neck, then shifted a bit so he wasn't lying right over Harry, more sort of next to him, wedged against the back of the couch and looking over at the others.

"Good," said Harry, then, "look amazing, don't they?" following Liam's gaze to the other three. Niall was sitting in the middle, slouched, legs spread, head tipped back against the couch, while Louis sat on one side of him and kissed him, one hand rubbing up and down his chest, sometimes slipping down over his tummy - and god, Liam could see that Niall was hard, the shape of him in his jeans - but no-one was going any further on that side, either. Zayn was pressed against Niall's other side, mouth pressed over the jut of his collarbone and sucking, red marks littering the pale column of Niall's throat.

"Yeah," admitted Liam. "Yeah, they really do."

Niall's eyes flickered open at the voices and he slowly broke away from Louis's kiss, said, "Make a pretty picture yourself, you do," and Louis also glanced over and made an agreeing sound.

"There's been a grave oversight so far," said Louis, nudging his nose against Niall's' cheek and then pulling away.

"Was just thinking that," said Harry with a grin, and Liam realised that from what he could remember - there had been a _lot_ of kissing - Louis and Harry hadn't, yet, that he'd seen.

"Liam, swapsies?" said Louis, grinning.

"Definitely," said Liam, and slowly extricated himself from his lovely nest of Harry and sofa, and clambered over, crossing Louis between the two couches - and being dragged in for a quick wet kiss - to sit next to Niall instead, who snuggled in close.

Louis and Harry were incredibly pretty together, Harry's big hand on Louis's sharp, delicate cheekbones as they kissed, and Liam was still surprised at how much he liked watching people kiss - or, well, not any people, he supposed. These boys. Knowing how each of them kissed and imagining how it felt for them, knowing he'd probably - hopefully - get a chance to kiss them again himself - it was just so lovely.

"Gotcha again," said Niall, kissing the side of Liam's mouth, lips turning up into a grin when Liam turned his head enough to reciprocate the kiss. It stayed slow and so lazy this time, Niall's tongue swiping in sleepy passes over Liam's bottom lip.

"Mmm," said Zayn, and clambered bodily over their laps to sit the other side of Liam and start pressing kisses down his throat, soft, gentle fluttering ones that made Liam shiver and prickle out in goosebumps.

The kissing tapered off over the rest of the night, and they finally opened room-temperature beers, threw two frozen pizzas in the oven, and put on some music. It was one AM and they were chatting about nothing in particular, always somehow touching each other, when Liam realised Zayn had sneakily sucked a vibrant red lovebite right around the birthmark on his neck. He'd hardly noticed at the time, but it was tender to the touch, now.

Zayn looked completely unrepentant even when Liam complained about having to wear a scarf to work, and everyone else's eyes seemed hungry on it. Liam had always found lovebites a bit obnoxious, before, but the feel of it when he brushed his fingertips over it, the oddly smug shock of it in the mirror, everything reminded him of who gave it to him and when. He maybe could see the appeal.

\--

 _Jade omggg_ , he texted, on the bus on the way home, tired and kiss-drunk far more than actually drunk - he'd only had two beers - _i know this sounds mad but I think i want this to workkk like with all four of them??? is that mad???_

Jade: _babe nothing is mad if it makes you happy_

Jade: _in all seriousness though will there be five weddings and can i be your best (wo)man in most or all of them_

Jade: _wait ten weddings right my maths isn't very good_

Jade: _yesss ten parties come on Liam i SUPPORT YOU_

Jade: _if you have one group wedding you have to have a party worth ten parties_

\--

"Oh my god, what's her name," said Ruth on Monday morning when Liam yawned his way into the kitchen.

It wasn't even eight AM, way too early for a sister attack.

"Whussuh?" said Liam blearily, then his brain kicked in and he tried to tug the collar of his shirt up over his neck, but it was too late and he didn't fancy accidentally garroting himself in the attempt before he'd even had a cup of tea.

Ruth just raised her eyebrows. "Is that where you were Saturday night, little brother?"

"I, well," said Liam. Lying to his sister had never been the easiest thing for Liam, but there wasn't exactly a way to not do that right now. "Sort of?" he hedged.

Ruth laughed. "Sort of! She sort of left a not-so-subtle mark on you, Li."

"Not quite, you know, _she_ ," said Liam, because when the real truth was _actually I was lying around on sofas snogging four different boys and thoroughly enjoying it_ , coming out about just one hypothetical boy was perhaps not that scary after all.

Ruth just laughed again. "What do you mean, she--" Then her face sort of wobbled and her mouth fell open and she breathed out a long, "--ohh."

Liam twisted his mouth to stop himself laughing. "Surprise?" he offered, then reached for a teabag and dropped it on the floor because it seemed his hands were shaking. Still slightly scary, apparently.

"Liam oh my god, you've got a boyfriend?" said Ruth in a rush, then dropped her plate of toast with a clatter on the table and hurtled across the kitchen to slam into Liam with a hug.

"Oof," said Liam, not answering the question. Then, "Sorry," squeezing Ruth back.

"What the bloody hell do you have to be sorry for?" Ruth squawked into his shoulder.

"I was, um, really nervous to tell you, but Jade said you'd be fine, but I was still, you know, not doing it."

Ruth pulled back and punched him in the arm. "Course I'd be okay with it!"

"Ow," said Liam. He possibly deserved it, though, seeing as he was still sort of lying to her. Halfway there was better than nothing, right? He could ease her into the rest of it later. If it lasted that long.

He dropped his hand when Ruth grinned at him, rubbing unthinkingly at Zayn's lovebite.

"Got a mouth on him, has he?" she said, looking alarmingly delighted.

"Um," said Liam. One of them has.

"Well, go on, tell me stuff! What's his name, how did you meet him?"

"Ruth," said Liam on a whine, stalling against the fact he had no idea what to say and did not want to see what would spill out of his mouth if he let it flap on nervously. "I haven't even had tea yet. I'll tell you more later."

Ruth pointed at him, still grinning.

"You absolutely better."

Liam forced his mouth into a grin. He'd always sort of imagined a big messy tsunami of relief crashing over him once he'd come out to Ruth and she'd been fine about it, and there was definite wave action, but the relief-water was dotted with pebbles of guilt and weirdness cracking painfully onto his head, because he was still lying to her about something much harder for people to get their heads around than just liking boys.

He dropped his hand when he found himself rubbing at the lovebite again. It felt nice, though, and after all, he was doing all this in the first place because of the nice feeling, so he pressed it again defiantly.

\--

The heating in the office was on the blink again, so it wasn't too weird that Liam kept his scarf on all day. It proved a bit more tricky to hide his silly grin when his phone kept buzzing with messages from the Whatsapp group they'd set up - Jade had insisted he called it Sex Factor, which had made Niall propose platonic marriage to her over text - and she threw him a delighted look every time.

"What are they saying?" she hissed as they passed each other by the photocopier, dragged him into the break room to make him take off his scarf, and took him out to the cafe down the road for lunch to grill him on details.

"I technically enabled this," she said, pointing her fork at him. "So I get all the juicy details."

"There's nothing even that juicy!" said Liam.

"Except the last time I snogged four boys in one night was - oh, yeah, never! I managed two once, but come on, Liam, four is a heck of a thing."

"It didn't feel like a thing," said Liam. He pushed his bangers and mash around the plate. "I mean, it did. It's not like it was an unremarkable night, obviously. I just mean it didn't feel like, oh my god! I'm kissing four boys! It felt like, oh my god, I'm kissing this really cool boy that I like and he likes me too! But, times four."

Jade looked at him, squinted a bit. "I think I see what you mean. It's more about each of them individually, not the fact there's four of 'em chasing you. Right?"

"Yeah. Except, like. I don't think it would've worked this well even from the beginning if there weren't all five of us, exactly how we are. So it has to be about all of us even when it's about each of us."

"I can't tell if I've never heard you more eloquent or more incoherent, but I think I get you, pet."

His phone buzzed on the table and Liam picked up it and unlocked it completely casually.

"Calm down, love, don't think your phone wants a mashed potatoes bath."

Liam stuck out his tongue. "Shut up, you."

"So, whassit say?"

Liam grinned. "Drinks at the pub Niall works at on Wednesday. We, um."

"Look at that face, you're about to say something cute."

"We all decided each person gets to pick a date, over the next two weeks, that we all go on. Niall is first. So on Wednesday he's gonna meet us at the pub and then we're gonna watch his band perform."

Jade beat her hands on the table in a little drumroll and squeaked. "I fucking knew it! God, that's so cheesy, I love it. These idiots are so obviously perfect for you. When's your day? What are you going to do?"

"Sunday. Zayn found this website that flips a coin for us to pick, and Harry and me got the weekend days. I dunno what I'm gonna do yet." Liam shrugged. "Will you help me think of something?"

"I wouldn't keep being your friend if you didn't let me."

\--

Jade being so brilliant about it made Liam forget, a little bit, that not everyone was like that. That for most people, a relationship was one boy and one girl; for a lot of people, they'd also fairly happily accept it being between two girls, or two boys. But that was pretty much it.

When Liam got home after work on Tuesday, Ruth was giggling like crazy over an advert her friend had sent her - an online ad for a romantic weekend away, but for three people rather than your standard two. She showed it to Liam, laughing; the advert was full of wink-wink-nudge joking, like three people spending a weekend in a one bedroom hotel room was something unbelievably naughty and funny.

"Is it real?" asked Liam doubtfully.

Ruth cackled. "Is it--! No, Liam, I don’t think it’s real. Or if it is, it’s not like anyone would actually go for it, would they?"

"I don’t know why not," said Liam. "What if three people all - you know, really liked each other--"

Ruth let out a peal of bright laughter like she always did when she thought Liam said something particularly stupid, and Liam loved his sister, he did, and he knew she loved him loads and wasn't trying to be mean at all, but it still felt horrible.

"Really like - oh Liam, I love you. I don’t think that sort of thing is about people _really liking_ each other anyway. It’s about - you know. Having a threesome."

Liam made a noncommittal noise, and Ruth grinned at him.

"Have you ever had a threesome, Liam? Oh, of course you haven’t."

"What if, though," he said, feeling ridiculous even as he said it, because this was going nowhere good, "what if there were three people who really liked each other and they were happy to see this, you know, this advert, so they could all go on holiday together and stay in one room for once. It would be, like, it would be nice."

Ruth made a series of complicated faces at him. "What are you going on about? Like three people in a full-on relationship?"

Liam shrugged.

Ruth shook her head. "Nah, like. That would never work, would it? Someone would get jealous, someone would like one of them more than the other - recipe for bloody disaster. Three's a crowd, innit?"

Liam had heard that saying, but that was three; maybe that would be harder, maybe one person would feel left out, but maybe five is safer, there's not going to be one person left out and miserable. "What about more?"

"What?"

"More than three. Never mind," said Liam, suddenly not wanting to have this conversation any more; it made him feel cold and weird and antsy, like remembering a bad dream.

"More than three people in a relationship?" Ruth laughed again. "What have you been flipping watching in the middle of the night, Liam, honestly. Looking to get yourself a harem?" She laughed again, and Liam waved a hand.

"Nah, I dunno. Heard something on the telly once, s'weird, I dunno."

Ruth kept giggling. "Don't get yourself more than one boyfriend, Liam, Mum'll have a mini heart attack with just one, you don't want to send her off early, do you?"

"Oh, shut up," said Liam, dragging his mouth into a grin. He felt like he wanted to throw up, but it might raise a few questions. He hadn't even thought about ever telling his mum, but. That was too far away and impossible to think about now, except Ruth had just made him think about it. Even coming out to his mum about _one_ boy would be hard enough."You don't think - she wouldn't be - about me being--?"

"Oh, Liam, no," said Ruth, softening immediately. "I'm just taking the mick. She'll be fine, especially if I talk to her about it, don't worry."

"'Kay," said Liam. Maybe if she didn't think of the more-some thing as just a joke, she'd be lovely about that too. "Thanks."

He went upstairs and walked randomly around his room a bit, moved some clothes around like he was tidying up but pretty much just moving mess around.

That was the problem, though, wasn't it? That was what Ruth thought and it wasn't like that was awful and unusual of her. Liam didn't care - or tried really hard not to care too much what people thought of him, but he did, everyone did a bit. And this was something that no-one would understand. If Ruth - who was wonderful, she was kind and clever and thoughtful - thought even three people being together was impossible and stupid, no-one else would get it. Not the rest of his family, not his other coworkers, definitely not his friends from home - they'd all think it was gross, or hilarious, or impossible, they'd all think it was weird and they'd all look at him like he was crazy and stupid, and no-one, _no-one_ would think it was sweet or lovely or interesting or exactly what Liam needed.

And no-one ever would understand it, that was the thing. They’d keep saying stuff and not _getting_ it; Liam knew himself quite well, he thought – at least, thought he had before he’d accidentally stumbled into the beginnings of a five-way relationship – and he thought maybe it would get to him. He’d get embarrassed and defensive and weird and resentful, eventually, wishing he could be normal, because Liam kind of wanted normal stuff. Living in a little two-up two-down terrace somewhere, getting a dog, maybe even a kid one day, and it didn’t matter whether that was with a girl or a boy but it did sort of matter that there were five of them.  
They’d have to get a much bigger house, for one thing. Though at least Harry’s parents were rich. Maybe they could all pitch in to get a three bedroom house and work out a rota for sleeping--

Liam's phone buzzed, lighting up, saving him from the sucking whirlpool of his thoughts. "God," he said aloud, rubbing his hands over his head, "shut up, Liam." Rota. He didn't even know where he was going to take the boys out on his assigned date day, he didn't even know what he was going to wear to the pub; worrying about the acceptance of society and how they would schedule their sleeping arrangements in their big joint house in Hampstead was truly gold-medal level in the Getting Ahead Of Himself Olympics.

The text was Jade. 'I had a great idea for the date omg call me ps. promise i wont suggest a sex shop crawl this time'

Liam carefully tidied up all the worries back into the box Ruth had kicked open, shoved it back under a pile of metaphorical long-forgotten mess in the dusty back of his brain - possibly his GCSE Geography revision - and rang Jade back.

\--

The next couple of weeks lodged themselves into Liam's head in a way reminiscent of a cheesy montage in a film; some terribly uplifting music bopping away over the top and a weirdly fuzzy light over everything, resolving into clarity for the best-remembered moments like a camera zooming in.

 

Wednesday: Niall grinned, looking embarrassed and proud as the four of them wormed their way through the busy pub to lean over the bar and give him kisses on the cheek. Eoghan whipped him with a teatowel, saying "Reckon you weren't kidding, eh?" and offered them all a pint on the house for losing the bet.

Niall and Eoghan finished their shift and dragged them all out of the pub, a few twists and turns through narrowing Soho streets in the spitting rain to a slightly seedier pub where they had a gig booked, Niall's hand slipping into Liam's as Louis, Zayn and Harry did the same behind him, a chain of three laughing as they got in pedestrians' way.

The pub smelled musty - old sweat and endless layers of spilled beer that made Liam slightly regret the smoking ban - and the electronics were dodgy, with low lighting and crackling amps. It all fell away when Niall started singing; his voice was lovely, and his fingers were quick and sure on his guitar strings. Liam had never quite got the musician thing before - how being in a band made someone automatically more attractive, the way his sisters had gone on about it, but he did now, he got it. Or maybe it was just Niall; but he made Liam feel a bit mad with how good he looked performing.

Harry leaned over to Liam halfway through, saying, "How sick is this, our boyfriend is in a band!" and Liam's tummy squirmed around like he'd swallowed a live fish. A very distressed one. Or perhaps a very joyful one.

The four of them - as well as a pretty impressive crowd, for a Tuesday in a crappy pub, anyway - clapped and yelled when Niall's band had finished their set, and pulled him off the stage into a messy group hug, hands everywhere.

Niall cornered Liam by the bar a blurry amount of time later, putting a warm hand on his neck and pulling him into a kiss right there at the bar, and it was in Soho, so no-one really looked, but it could have been in Buckingham Palace and Liam still would have kissed him back, helpless in the face of the cheeky nibble of Niall's teeth on his bottom lip.

Saturday: His phone buzzed at not even eight AM, Harry telling everyone to wear really warm clothes because he had outside plans for his day. Liam arrived on time, unwrapped four layers of wooly scarf from Zayn's face to kiss him a quick hello outside Notting Hill Gate tube station.

Harry crowded them all into the tiny bakery where he worked, flourishing his hands proudly at the display case. His colleague Perrie smirked a hello - she reminded Liam immediately of Jade, the way she looked over them all in fascinated delight and furiously whispered with Harry.

Harry lugged a picnic basket out of the back of the shop, filled with cupcakes - and some sandwiches and Thermoses of tea - and beckoned them all away for an outside picnic in Ladbroke Square Garden.

Wintry sunshine made Liam squint, gleaming in Louis's hair and sending the shadow of Zayn's impossible eyelashes over his face.

They kept each other warm, swapping lazy kisses in the almost deserted park. Harry pressed Liam down into the scratchy woolly blanket, his coat falling open around both of them, all warm and heavy with his thighs spread over Liam's, his tongue hot and tasting of tea and rich chocolate icing from the cupcakes. Zayn's hand slipped into his, Niall laughing brightly at Louis somewhere behind his head.

Sunday: Jade came over early and practically pushed Liam out of the door as he dithered over his hair; he arrived at the entrance to London Zoo fifteen minutes earlier than planned to make extra sure he wouldn't be late on his own date day. Louis overcompensated for his habitual lateness and arrived a minute after Liam, told him that the zoo was the most ridiculously unromantic place for a date, before wrapping both his arms around Liam's neck and kissing him enthusiastically to the squinted disapproval of the wrinkled sourfaced old man sitting in the ticket office.

Zayn was enthralled by the Reptile House while Louis hung back, wary; Harry distracted Louis with not-so-subtle gropes; Zayn smiled at Liam and kissed his thanks into his mouth up against the glass of the boa constrictor enclosure. Niall was entranced by the seals, declaring that he wanted a pet one in a bathtub, while Harry looked unimpressed. He liked the giraffes, Louis saying it was because he was distantly related to them; Louis' favourites were the lions, which Liam said the same thing about.

They had lunch in the cafe while Zayn read out animals facts from a guide he'd bought; Niall bought Liam a soft toy Galapagos tortoise which had been his favourite and made it pretend to kiss him before he pulled it back and gave Liam a real kiss, right there in the gift shop. Harry got distracted from kissing Zayn on the way back to the tube by realising he hadn't kissed Liam in thanks for the date yet and did it just like that, so Liam could still taste the cigarettes and chewing gum from Zayn's mouth.

Wednesday: Liam got the tube the opposite way to normal after work, looked up at the tall pillar of the Tate Modern and blinked against that weird tall building feeling like you're just going to forget how to stand up and fall flat on your bum; met Zayn inside as he locked up the gift shop, helping keep Louis at arm's length as he tried to worm past Zayn to play with the stuff in the shop, even when Louis nipped his sharp little teeth on Liam's arm.

The four of them followed Zayn around the gallery's late-opening night like little ducklings; Harry kept asking weird questions about the art that made Zayn smile like they meant something to him; Niall was constantly fascinated with what actually counted as art; Louis kept asserting that he could absolutely do that. Zayn just said. "Yes, but you didn't," - and it made something in Liam's brain click open.

He didn't really understand or, to be quite honest, really like pretty much anything of what Zayn showed them, but he loved watching Zayn talk about it; the way his face went all soft and lovely when he looked at these random blotches of colour and lumpy sculptures made out of ripped up bits of mattresses.

They had dinner on the South Bank afterwards; Liam stumbled over what he thought was going to be a really romantic comment about how Zayn was more lovely than any of the art they'd seen, and Louis retorted, "Well, yes, Liam, I would hope all of us here would be more lovely than those severed mouse heads preserved in amber. I'd hope you'd even think me mam was lovelier than severed mouse heads preserved in amber." Zayn laughed along - Liam laughed along, even, with a fizzy feeling of surprise that he didn't mind - but Zayn still pulled Liam in across the table and kissed him, a slow slide of his tongue against Liam's lips in thanks making Liam go all shivery.

Friday: Friday was where the focus slid back in tight, because Louis took them clubbing, and that was where it started.

The music was loud when they walked in, bass shaking Liam's chest and making him feel a bit breathless. His shoulders tensed up.

"Bit loud in here, isn't it?" he said to Zayn, leaning right in be heard, smelling Zayn's aftershave.

Zayn was watching Niall, Louis and Harry laugh together by the cloakroom where they were dropping off their stuff; he turned his head to Liam quickly, saying something Liam couldn't hear. Zayn leaned in closer when Liam did that universal gesture towards his ear. 

His breath was warm on Liam's ear, and Liam shivered, goosebumps prickling tight down the back of his neck, and he remembered vividly Zayn last kissing him on Wednesday, the way his hand had curled around the back of Liam's neck, fingers rubbing in the short hair there, and he swallowed hard before registering what Zayn was even saying to him.

"You okay, babe?"

The darkness and noise and amount of people in the club had had Liam on edge, a bit, when they'd walked in, but now with Zayn pressed up close to him, mouth millimetres away from his ear, one hand both soothing and possessive on his hip, he felt much better. Which was possibly Louis's plan all along, sneaky bugger.

Speak of the devil. Louis slid in to whisper in Liam's other ear, which was an unfair onslaught.

"No getting started without us," he said, then pulled back, smirking, eyes glinting in the whirling club lights.

The nervous tension that had balled up in Liam's chest went loose, slid down lower, an excited heat in his belly.

"Never would," he said, and felt Louis's hand slip over Zayn's and squeeze his hip.

Then Louis danced away. "Shots!" he said, hips already moving to the rhythmic thump of the bass as he grabbed Harry and Niall's hands, dragged them to the bar.

They did a round of tequila shots first, huddled in a semi-circle around the bar, Liam coughing at the sharp oily taste of the tequila. "That's disgusting," he groaned, and Niall laughed.

"S'what the lime's for, Leemo," said Niall, taking the slice from Liam's hand and putting it to his mouth. Liam sucked it gratefully, swallowing away the weird bite of the tequila with the shock of the lime, and more than anything else the subtle nudge of Niall's fingers at the edge of his mouth where he was holding the lime was a brilliant distraction. His face felt warm and Niall grinned at him.

"Should be doing body shots," Harry grumbled, looking at them a bit jealously like he wanted his fingers and/or mouth to be involved in all that. "Make this more interesting."

"Give it time, young Harold," said Louis. "Night's got plenty of time to get interesting, yet. Come on, let's dance."

Zayn looked uncertainly at the dance floor, where Louis was leading the way, Niall going after him, a surprisingly easy pulse of rhythm in his narrow hips already that Harry was definitely watching as he followed.

Liam hung back with Zayn, not because he didn't want to dance - he didn't think he was very good, but he quite liked dancing, could feel the music beating through him and wanted to move to it - but because he wasn't having Zayn hanging back by the bar.

"Hey," he said, tangling his fingers with Zayn's. Zayn was kind and gentle and caring but tended towards stubborn, so Liam was pretty sure coaxing was the way to go, whereas with Louis an outright challenge would get him to do anything. "Come on, dance with me. Please?"

"I don't really, you know, dance," said Zayn doubtfully, but he was looking at Liam, so Liam made his eyes big, licked the last bit of lime juice from the corner of his mouth, watched Zayn's eyes fall to it, and something thrilled hot in his belly.

Zayn looked back up, and his mouth quirked up at the corner, eyes dark and hot. "Minx," he said, Liam seeing the word more than hearing it, and shrugging with a grin in response. He liked this; being a bit naughty. He'd never known he could be.

Zayn kept their hands entangled, used them to pull Liam onto the dance floor, squirming past the mass of people until they found Harry, Niall and Louis.

The tequila had gone straight to Liam's head - he wasn't quite drunk, but his head felt warm and a bit swimmy. It was fun to dance, to just let his body move, have a laugh, watch the others - Niall was good, which shouldn't really be surprisingly, because they knew he was musical, but Liam hadn't expected the easy way he moved, his hips in perfect time to the beat. Harry was more enthusiasm than skill, jumping up and down and nearly taking Niall's eye out; Louis liked to mess about, making fun of Harry or pretending to do the robot, but every now and again he'd slip into this slick, full body rolling grind that made his arse look fucking amazing.

Zayn didn't dance very much at first, just moving his body enough and watching the others, but he loosened up after a bit, especially after they got a couple of rounds of vodka and cokes from the bar. The drink was sticky and sharp in Liam's mouth, not something he was used to, and on top of the tequila he felt it spread warmth through his body; Zayn matched him, movements getting easier, and when Rihanna started thudding through the air, he gave this sharp little grin and started dancing, properly, and he was _good_ , slim hips twisting like he was in a music video.

"Where's he been hiding that?" whispered Niall in Liam's ear, watching as avidly as Liam was when Harry slid up behind Zayn, slid his hands over Zayn's hips and danced along with him. Apparently Harry saved all his grace and dancing talent for when he was grinding up on someone, because he looked like pure sex, dancing with Zayn.

Another round of drinks, and Liam was drunk, but not too drunk - the perfect level, feeling good and happy and a little bit reckless.

"This was a good idea," he half-yelled into Louis's ear, and Louis took the chance to slide his arm around Liam's waist and tug him around so they were dancing close, face to face.

"I know," said Louis, mouth brushing Liam's ear. "I'm full of them." The song was a bit slower, hot, a deep dirty beat, and Louis pulled Liam in a bit closer, pushing his knee just between Liam's legs.

Louis's mouth was still at Liam's ear, and he kissed the lobe gently, then moved his head. His nose pressed into Liam's cheek, nudging over it as they both turned their heads until their noses bumped. Liam could feel Louis's breath on his mouth, millimetres away, the promise of a kiss hanging breathless in the scrap of air left between them, the anticipation making Liam's stomach dip and twist with heat, a clutch of excited nerves as though he hadn't kissed Louis a generous handful of times already; like this was the first all over again.

They'd all kissed, this week; Liam had kissed every one of them lots of times. Sometimes they'd just been little smooches; sometimes they'd been proper full-on snogs. On the picnic last weekend, Harry's date, when there'd been no-one around, they'd got quite intense. Liam had got more than a bit breathless, and more than a bit hard, and knew the others had, too, but they hadn't done any more than that; no-one had suggested going anywhere more private, maybe because that was quite a big step, working that out. Maybe they were just all waiting for the right time.

Perhaps this was the right time.

Liam and Louis's mouths slid together, finally; Liam pressed Louis's mouth open and slid his tongue in, meeting Louis's, slick and eager and dirty straight away, mouths opening greedily into each other. Louis's fingers on Liam's waist dug in, his other hand sliding up to cup Liam's jaw as it flexed with the kiss; Liam slid both hands down Louis's side and grabbed on to his arse daringly, head swimming with how Louis felt under his palms, the lush tight curve of it fitting perfectly, the thrilling give as he squeezed and how Louis moaned into his mouth, vibration shuddering through his lips.

Liam could smell Harry half a second before he felt his broad body fit up behind Liam, his soft mouth on his neck, kissing up to his ear to whisper, "Hey," then ducking down to suck, right on the tendon, making Liam shiver hard and moan back into Louis's mouth. One of Harry's hands wormed its way between them, palm sliding up Liam's chest; the other went around and joined Liam's on Louis's arse, squeeezing, making Louis arch wantonly and bite down on Liam's lower lip. Louis was pressing into him from the front, Harry crowding him from the back, and Liam's heart was pounding. His cock was fully hard, squeezed up against his flies, jeans tighter than the ones he usually wore. He could feel Louis's prick too, the rigid line of it wedged up against his hip, and Harry, as well, as he pushed in closer, feet opening around Liam's to bracket them, hips canted up against Liam's arse.

Another boy's dick shoved up against his arse, and like that wasn't enough, like wasn't every hot and slightly scary fantasy Liam had played out in his head, there was Louis's too, Louis shifting his hips up against Liam's until the hot push of their erections rubbed together.

God, what they must look like. So fucking obvious; this wasn't a laugh, this wasn't just dancing with your mates. It made Liam feel crazy, and it made him feel good, like he was sexy and wanted, and like he was gonna get taken home and made to feel amazing. He pulled his mouth away from Louis, lips feeling swollen and hot, dropped his head back and twisted to look at Harry. Harry smiled at him, eyes fixed on Liam's mouth, and Liam opened his lips, ready for the kiss when Harry kissed him, keeping Louis anchored to his front. Louis dropped down to kiss Liam's neck, lick over the mark Harry had left, then up to cheekily peck kisses up to where Harry and Liam were snogging, until Harry groaned into Liam's mouth and pulled away slickly to immediately join himself to Louis's mouth. The wetness of Liam's mouth kissed from Harry's right back into Louis's, the red gleam in the pulsing changing club lights, millimetres away from Liam.

It was hard to look away, but he wanted to see if he could find Zayn and Niall. It wasn't hard, because they were just a couple of feet away, right in Liam's eyeline. They were snogging deep and hard, the flashing lights sheening red, green, blue, white on their tongues. Zayn's hand was cupped under Niall's arse, urging Niall's leg up over his hip as they rocked together.

Zayn's eyes slitted open, and he caught Liam's gaze; dragged his slick mouth off Niall's lips to his ear, whispering something that made Niall look over as well, the two of them giving Liam almost identical little smirks.

Liam bit his lip, dropped his head back onto Harry's shoulder, hitching his hips up into Louis, catching the rhythm of the music. He rolled his head to find Harry's ear, nudge at it. "Hey," he said. "Hey."

Harry pulled his mouth away from Louis, heaving in a breath, and turned to Liam. He leaned in to kiss Liam and Liam let him, for a minute, then pulled away. "Hey," he said again, then, right into Harry's ear, as Louis started maddeningly rubbing a thumb over Liam's bottom lip, "How far away from your flat are we?"

"God," Harry said, and Louis made a noise as Harry squeezed hard over Liam's hand on Louis's arse, cramming the three of them closer together and making Liam moan, head spinning, his cock jumping tightly. "You sure?" breathed Harry into Liam's ear.

Liam nodded. God, he was sure. He wanted to do this where he could properly see everyone, where he could hear them, where they could take their clothes off and do it all properly, all of them together, somehow, however it would work, he wanted it. "If - you know. If everyone else is."

Harry nodded, took Liam's earlobe between his teeth and gave it an encouraging little suck. "Not too far," he said, "especially since we can get the last tube easy, still."

Louis was frowning at them, and dropped his hand to pinch sharply at Liam's nipple, which was clearly meant to get the attention back on him, but it made Liam gasp, his nipple tingling fiercely and peaking up under Louis's fingers. Louis gave a slow grin that meant, _interesting_.

"Um," said Liam, dropping his head forward to find Louis's ear, "I think. I mean, like, I want to get out of here, go back to Harry's, because he doesn't have a flatmate." He could feel his cheeks going hot. "If, you know, you want."

Louis got his hand back on Liam's face and pulled him around for a kiss, an enthusiastic yes if the amount of tongue was anything to go by, then pulled slowly away from the grip Liam and Harry had on him. "Gonna," he yelled over the music, jerking his head towards Zayn and Niall, who were back to snogging. He stepped away, then winced and fiddled with his jeans, adjusting the seam of his flies over the ridge of his dick. It looked big, even in the dark of the club, bulge all trapped inside his jeans, and Liam wanted to get his mouth on it, a sudden urge that left his head swimming and mouth watering. He blew out a breath.

Harry cuddled up behind him, hands sliding over Liam's tummy and lacing together, chin hooking over his shoulder. "Didn't think you had it in you," he teased into Liam's ear.

Liam grinned, feeling his cheek press up against Harry's. He turned his head a bit. "Whatever," he shouted, "like we weren't all waiting for it to get to this point tonight.

Harry laughed, warm breath gusting over the shell of Liam's ear. "Louis was hoping for it, that much was clear with his choice of date night. But," he said, then kissed the top of Liam ear, "he only will if everyone wants to."

"Yeah," said Liam. Hard as he was, crazy as he felt with Harry's dick still pressed unmistakably against his arse, he couldn't imagine anything less sexy than one of them not being into it, and it's not like they would any of them want to do it without one of them. That settled as a truth that he didn't need to even examine, somehow. "Yeah."

Louis was snugged up behind Zayn, who was watching Liam and Harry hotly, eyes fluttering as Niall kissed his neck on one side and Louis whispered into his ear on the other; then his mouth went up sharply into a grin and he nodded. _"Yeah,"_ Liam could see his mouth say.

Zayn turned his head and cupped a hand under Niall's jaw, eased him up to kiss him on the lips then whisper in his ear. Niall listened intently, then between one flash of strobe lighting and the next, Liam saw his mouth quirk up, then he bit his lip. He nodded slowly, turned his head, looking for Liam and Harry as if he was looking for reassurance. Liam caught his eye and nodded and smiled a bit, like, _Mate, I know._

Niall turned back, kissed Zayn quickly on the lips, then Louis more lingeringly, and it seemed absolutely unfair now that Liam hadn't got to kiss Niall or Zayn all night. He grabbed both of Harry's hands and turned around in the circle of his arms. "Let's go," he said, and started tugging Harry towards the cloakroom.

Harry laughed, snagged Niall on the way, who pulled along Louis and Zayn, and the five of them stumbled through the packed dance floor.

Waiting for their coats could have been awkward, like the spell might be broken away from the heat and grinding bass of the dance floor, but it wasn't - for Liam, anyway. He wasn't quite as hard - which was a blessing, he didn't really fancy going on the Underground with an insistent stiffy getting in the way - but the heat was banked, not gone. Liam felt giddy, silly with excitement, grinning like a bit of an idiot. Louis laughed at him, hooking a hand around the back of his neck.

"You look like you're a five year old on his way to Disneyland, Liam, not a fit lad on his way to an orgy."

"Jesus," said Niall, grinning and shaking his head.

"Dunno," said Liam, not making any attempt to force down his smile. "It's, like, I really like you, and now I hopefully get to have sex with you all, and I thought it might be scary but it's just, it feels really great?"

Harry wrapped both his arms around Liam sideways and kissed the side of his head. "I didn't know someone could be so cute about a fivesome. You restore my faith in humanity, Liam," he said.

Zayn had his arm around Louis's waist. "You balance out this cynical bastard here," he said, tipping his head to the side.

"Oi!" protested Louis, but Zayn shut him up with his mouth.

Liam and Niall got their coats first, and outside in the sudden shock of chill, they cuddled close.

"Liam," Niall whispered, the quiet of his voice in Liam's ringing ears now they were outside a weird contrast to all night so far, "Liam, is it silly that I'm kind of nervous?"

Liam slid his arms up under Niall's coat and dragged him in close.

"No," he said, whispering right back, and kissed Niall on the mouth. "I am, too. I've never done anything with a bloke."

"I have," said Niall, lips against Liam's. "And I'm still brickin' it. Dunno why. Maybe 'cause it's not just one person I'd be letting down, it'd be four."

Liam laughed. "Are you joking? The way you kiss, Niall, there's no way you'd be letting anyone down." He kissed Niall again, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, and, feeling daring, rubbed his hand down Niall's side, over his belly and down between his legs, carefully feeling out the shape of his dick. It was the first time he'd had his hand on another guy's cock, even through jeans, and it felt incredibly exciting, feeling it get bigger in his palm and he kissed Niall deeper and squeezed gently, Niall making little noises into his mouth.

"Oi," said the bouncer a few feet away, roughly, "save it for the taxi, lads."

"Oh my god," said Liam, shoving his face into Niall's neck and laughing helplessly.

"Hey, what's going on here?" yelled Louis, bouncing out of the club door. "C'mon, slags, we've got an orgy to be getting to."

The bouncer raised his eyebrows.

Liam kept hold of Niall's hand the whole journey home, and it helped keep the butterflies zipping around his own stomach at bay, like trying to stop Niall getting too nervous meant he didn't have the energy to wind himself up too much.

"Are you sure you're cool with this?" said Zayn, next to Liam on the tube, Niall on Liam's other side and Harry and Louis opposite them.

"Course he is, he suggested it, didn't he?" said Louis, one hand high on Harry's thigh, his legs sticking across the carriage with one of Zayn's feet caught between his ankles.

Zayn shrugged. "Just checking. 'Cause he hasn't had sex with a boy before."

"Neither have you," Harry pointed out. "Are _you_ sure?"

Zayn thought about it. "Yeah. Mean, I'm nervous, like, because I ain't done it before, but I don't think it's going to be that complicated to do stuff that feels good, and, you know. I trust you lot. If I dunno what I'm doing, I can ask, or you can show me, and I'm not gonna feel stupid, like."

Zayn had articulated it in a way Liam hadn't even to himself, properly. "That's it, innit?" he said. "I trust you."

"I'm nervous," volunteered Niall, "and I _have_ had sex with a guy before. It's just, you know, it's gonna be a bit different, more than two, isn't it? But Zayn's right. I trust us to work it out."

"I had a threesome once," said Harry thoughtfully. "Boy and a girl."

"Harry, you harlot!" said Louis immediately. "Can we put you in charge, then?"

Harry shrugged. "Not quite the same, is it, boy and a girl, versus four lads. Anyway, like you'd let any of us boss you around. Not gonna be anyone in charge. We'll just work it out."

Louis had taken one of his shoes off and was rubbing his foot up the inside of Zayn's knee. "How many more stops?" Zayn said, in a strained voice.

Harry grinned. "Only a couple."

The walk from the tube station to Harry's flat was weird - Liam wasn't hard, hadn't been for most of the journey, but there was a pleasantly anticipatory buzz between his legs, a heaviness, not helped by the way Harry was holding his hand, thumb rubbing up and down slowly.

Louis had Niall up against the wall outside Harry's flat, kissing him before Harry could even get his keys out to open the door.

"I do have neighbours, you know," said Harry, grinning.

"I," said Louis, slickly detaching his mouth from Niall's, "don't care," and went back to it. Harry watched for a minute, keys forgotten in his hand until Liam pinched him lightly on the bum.

"Get that bloody door open," said Zayn, antsy, and Harry finally did, tumbling in, and Liam grabbed the sleeve of Niall's coat to pull him and Louis in after them.

The door slammed and it was so quiet for a minute, Liam's heart thumping so loud in his ears he half expected the others to look around for the noise.

"So, like," said Zayn. "How are we gonna do this? Do we get to bagsy things we wanna do?"

Harry laughed. "No way, I'd want to bagsy everything."

"Nah," said Niall, cheeks pink from the way Louis's hand was slipping under his coat. "We haven't over-thought anything yet, right? We've just sorta, like, gone with it."

"Let it happen, like," said Liam. "Yeah."

"Well, let's at least get our coats off before we let anything happen," said Harry, watching with interest the way Louis's hand was moving.

"Fine, fine," said Louis, stepping back reluctantly. "He just, you know, makes the nicest little noises."

"Oh, I know," said Liam, remembering outside the club.

"C'mon," said Zayn, taking off his coat and hanging it on the hooks by the front door. "Let's, like." He looked at Harry. "Bedroom big enough?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "Bed's just a double, but the room itself is a good size."

Liam's stomach did a little loop-de-loop. "Five people on a bed," he said. "God, I hadn't thought about how that would work."

Harry grinned at him. "The unforeseen challenge of an orgy."

"We'll work it out," decided Liam, also getting his coat off, kicking his shoes off as an afterthought, noting that his hand were trembling a little bit. Zayn grabbed his hand and tugged him in close, kissed each of his cheeks affectionately then his mouth, slipped his tongue in Liam's mouth and rubbed it against his own.

"Let it happen," he reminded Liam, pulling back, and pulling him the rest of the way into Harry's bedroom, following Harry who seemed to be shedding clothes as he went.

"Oh," breathed Liam; Harry had gone straight for the bed, just in his pants, grey boxer-briefs that did nothing to really hide the heft of Harry's half-hard cock lying along his thigh. Zayn stepped up behind him, rubbing a hand over Liam's stomach, nudging down to his waistband where Liam's cock was getting all the way hard again, nudging up towards Zayn's hand.

"Like the look of that, Li?" said Zayn quietly.

Liam did. He hadn't seen anyone else's cock in real life so close before, the shape of it pulling up, twitching as Harry watched Liam watching him, running a hand up his thigh, spreading his legs open a bit wider on the duvet.

"Show off," said Louis at Harry, stumbling into the room with Niall attached, pressing little kisses to Louis's neck. There was something particularly appealing about Louis's neck, Liam wasn't exactly sure what it was; all four of them had left it littered with faint red marks throughout the evening.

Louis settled on the bed next to Harry, leaned over for a kiss, then tugged Niall down on top of him. Harry shifted over a bit so they weren't precarious on the edge, and settled in to watch, hand still high on his own thigh.

"Alright, Nialler?" said Louis softly. Niall was sitting up over him, knees either side of Louis's hips.

"Fuck, yeah," said Niall with feeling. Liam could see his toes curling in his socks.

Louis grinned. "Come here then," he said, and pulled Niall down by the back of the neck to kiss him, pink tongue slipping out, Niall bent in half over Louis with his arse in the air.

Louis's hand rubbed over Niall's side, squeezed at his arse, then slipped deftly between Niall's legs and gripped his cock. Niall groaned, loud in the sudden silence if the room, and the back of Liam's neck prickled with tension. That was the first, the first time any of them had really done anything together, beyond kissing, and he felt Zayn squeeze his hand hard, saw Harry's cock jump in his pants.

"S'good," Niall mumbled into Louis's kiss.

"Want me to take it out?" asked Louis, grinding the palm of his hand rhythmically against the seam of Niall's jeans.

"Yeah," groaned Niall, and Liam scooted up the bed to edge himself next to Harry, Zayn right with him, not wanting to miss out.

Niall turned his head to look at them, grinning. "Shoulda - _ah_ \- shoulda known I'd be the first one getting me knob out," he said.

"You don't, like, you don't have to," said Liam. "Harry's practically got his out already, we can--"

"Oh, no - fuck! - I want to, believe me," he said, eyelashes fluttering as Louis flicked open the button of his flies, dragged the zip down. Liam held his breath as Louis dipped his hand in; let it out on a low groan as Louis pulled out Niall's pink cock, hard and flushed, foreskin rolled back tight from the head

"Shit," said Niall, tightly, head dropping forward. "Oh, god, Louis."

Louis shuffled down on the bed a bit to get a better angle, and Harry sat up, leaned over and ducked his head in to kiss Niall, muffling his moans as Louis started wanking him, his fist slipping over the shiny head of Niall's cock. Liam felt dizzy, cock twitching and getting sticky in his pants.

Niall's little whimpery moans were getting lost in the wet sound of Harry's kisses, and underneath that Liam could hear the sound of Louis wanking Niall off.

"Fuck," said Louis, cheeks flushed, stopping a moment. "Need a better angle. Niall--"

"Hey," said Liam, thinking both of how to make Niall more comfortable, and how to get more involved, desperately wanting to touch some skin, to have some reminder this was happening and that he was very much part of it. "Why don't, like," and he shifted around 'til he was behind Niall. "Why don't you, lean back into me, then Louis can get at you."

"And take your trousers off while you're at it," suggested Zayn. "Reckon we're all a bit overdressed for an orgy, like."

"'Part from me," said Harry smugly.

"Apart from you," Zayn agreed.

Louis pulled his hand out of Niall's jeans, wriggled up a bit, and Niall sat back on his haunches on Louis's shins, looking dazed, pink cock sticking up out of his jeans and brushing against the hem of his t shirt.

"Right," said Liam, going to undo his own trousers, but Zayn's hand on his wrist stopped him.

"Can I do the honours?" he asked.

Jesus. Talk about the most ridiculous thing he'd ever been asked, Zayn looking at him all eyelashes and red mouth and cheekbones.

"Um," he said, "yes." He spread his legs out in front of himself on the bed, touching Louis's hip with one foot and Harry's thigh with the other, and let Zayn kiss him, first, then pull off his t-shirt. Zayn ran a gentle hand down Liam's chest, over his belly, which flinched at the tickle, then Liam's breath hitched as he ran a thumb over the button of Liam's flies.

"Yeah?" he said, and Liam just nodded, words a sacrifice he'd had to make to keep his brain in one piece once Zayn's hand had gone south of his bellybutton.

Zayn split Liam's flies slowly, and Liam sighed into a moan as his hard cock pushed up out of the gap, looking big in his dark blue pants in a way that made his cheeks surge hot, legs falling open further when he saw everyone staring at him. Zayn pulled his flies open so he could see all of it; the head was pulling the waistband of his pants away from his skin a bit, but he wasn't sticking out yet.

He sighed out a huff of breath, and his cock twitched; Zayn was staring avidly, and reached out a tentative hand. "Can--?"

"Yeah," said Liam fervently, and his cock twitched again as Zayn stroked over the swell of the head through his pants, carefully, and Liam could feel himself get a bit stickier; he was gonna start showing a little damp splotch through his pants soon.

"Think Zayn's enjoying his first dick," said Harry, gravelly, and Liam and Zayn both looked up, Zayn biting his lip sheepishly.

"Reckon so, yeah," he said, glancing back down at Liam but taking his hand away, which was no good, but also a bit of a relief as the attention from everyone had started to get a bit heavy. Liam leaned over to kiss him, then let him help Liam wriggle out of his jeans, and Liam moved up a bit closer to Niall. Niall scooted back off Louis's legs, and settled into the cup of Liam's legs as Louis tugged off his jeans and pants, head dropping back on to Liam's shoulder.

"Hey," he said happily, cheeks pink and smile giddy. Liam kissed his smile, happy.

"Hello," he said. "Okay?"

Niall nodded. "More than. Dunno why I was that nervous, like. Just sex, innit? With people I like."

"Yeah," said Liam, grinning, and running his fingers down Niall's ribs, listening to him gasp out a laugh, to grab onto his hips and pull him flush back against Liam, groaning as his dick wedged at the small of his back.

"God, you feel big," said Niall, sighing and wriggling, and Liam's dick twitched. Niall laughed. "Like that, do ya? Want me to call you big boy?"

Liam laughed a bit breathlessly. "Oh, shut up," he said, though his cheeks surged hot, and he maybe did like that. Praise.

In front of them Zayn had scooched up next to Harry and was kissing him lazily, while Louis reached over and undid Zayn's flies. Zayn was wearing white boxer briefs, stark against his black jeans and the smooth skin of his belly, and when Harry helped Louis tugs his jeans down, the shape of his cock was gorgeously outlined, the slight curve of the spine, the purpley colour of the head obvious even through his pants.

"God, should have known he'd have a really pretty cock, too," said Niall, and Liam hummed in agreement, fingers stroking Niall's hipbones before moving around daringly to bump against his cock.

"Ahh," said Niall, cock jumping; it was so blazing hot and soft under Liam's fingertips, and he wrapped his fingers in a loose fist around it, marveling at how easy it was, touching another boy's prick.

"Oi," said Louis, mildly, tugging Zayn's jeans off the rest of the way and prodding Liam's thigh with his toes. "Don't go stealing that handjob. S'my handjob, I claimed it."

Liam grinned. "C'mere, then. Just keeping him warm for you."

"Let me get my trousers off, first," he said, pulling his t shirt over his head and flopping onto his back, hands at his flies.

"Hey," said Harry. "Selfish. Let me do it."

"Oh," said Louis, looking kind of pleased. "Alright."

Harry urged Louis up onto his knees, pushing him around a bit so Louis was facing away from him. "Your arse, mate," Harry said, and Louis smirked, until Harry nipped at his arse cheek through his jeans and made him yelp.

Harry undid his zip slowly, palming up and down the swell of his prick, then tugged his trousers down, Louis' black pants doing nothing to hide his erection, and Liam's mouth watered sharply again. Harry was cupping Louis's arse with his hands, squeezing.

"Work of art," he said, and Zayn nodded, bringing a hand out to join Harry's.

"If you're quite finished," said Louis, but his cheeks were red and his eyes were fluttering shut.

"Go on," Zayn said, giving Louis a little push so he landed forward on his hands either side of Niall's legs, laughing as Harry and Zayn tugged his jeans the rest of the way off, leg by leg.

"Alright?" he said, shuffling up to kiss Niall, then switching smoothly to kiss Liam, too, a slow, lingering kiss. "Ready to learn from the master?" he whispered, grinning into Liam's mouth.

"I dunno, when's he getting here?" Liam replied, and Harry giggled.

"Oi," said Louis, nipping Liam's bottom lip.

Then he sat back on Niall's shins, mirror of how Niall had been sitting on him earlier, and Niall squirmed, making Liam groan.

"Ready, sunshine?" said Louis. Niall's cock jumped in the loose hold Liam still had on it.

"Reckon so," said Niall hoarsely.

Harry and Zayn shuffled around a bit to watch as Louis ran his hands up Niall's pale thighs; Liam took his hand away, left it lying on Niall's upper thigh just as Louis grabbed of Niall's cock, his hold sure and firm where Liam's had been loose and tentative. He squeezed and moved his hand a bit, then made a considering noise and let go, sticking his hand out behind him.

"Zayn, lick," he said.

Zayn grinned, then leaned forward, licking a generous wet trail up Louis's palm until it gleamed.

Louis took his hand back and wrapped it around Niall's cock again; it slid easily when Louis started to wank him and Niall moaned immediately, shocked. "Oh, god," he said, head arching back onto Liam's shoulder. "Oh, _god_."

"Better, eh?" said Louis, wanking him a bit faster, skating his palm over the head on every other stroke. Niall's breathing was going choppy and strained, his hips rocking up eagerly to fuck through Louis's fist, sounding wrecked when Louis slowed down purposefully.

"Louis - fuck, please you fucker - _ah_ ," Niall moaned, and Liam watched, watched as Louis sped up, watched the smart rub of his thumb over Niall's slit, smearing the gooey drop of precome welling up over his taut shiny head.

"Loving it, aren't you?" said Louis, low and amused and turned on. "So responsive - oh, yeah, good boy. That's it."

"Jesus," Niall gasped. "Oh, jesus, I'm--" His hand flailed about helplessly, and Harry leaned forward, grabbed onto it, let Niall squeeze tight as he started to come, thick white jets of come from his slit smearing all messy over Louis's hand and catching in the webbing of his fingers. He kept wanking Niall hard and fast, tight over the head as Niall kept coming, and all the way through it until Niall flinched and twitched away, free hand lazily shoving at Louis's wrist.

"Oh my god," Liam breathed out, his cock aching with a mix of sympathetic arousal and very selfish arousal at seeing Niall's orgasm, right there in his lap, how hot he'd been.

"You're telling me," Niall mumbled, slumped back heavy against Liam's chest. "That was-- fuck."

Louis sat up, looking smug, wiping his hand on Niall's belly, Niall too fucked-out to protest. "Told you I was the master."

"Yeah, yeah," said Harry, grinning, breath hitching every now and again because Zayn's hand was between his legs, casually squeezing every now and again. "You reckon you deserve the next one?"

"Absolutely!" said Louis, indignant, and before anyone else could jump in, Liam waved a hand in the air.

"Um," he said, "I wanna."

Zayn grinned at him. "Ain't at school, Liam."

"I know. I just. Wanna."

Louis was watching him, grinning sharply. "Wanna what?"

"Been thinking about it since the club," said Liam honestly, and he wanted it too badly now that he didn't have much shame left, even though it made his face heat. "I wanna give you a blowjob."

"God, that word coming from that mouth should be illegal," said Harry, and Liam was immediately aware of his own mouth again, and licked his lips on purpose, watching Louis's eyes drop to it immediately.

Niall squirmed in his lap, orgasm-slow. "Let me see, this, fuck."

Liam grinned, heart thudding in his chest, fingers tingling with how much he wanted to do this.

"Here," he said to Zayn, "you take him," and helped heave Niall over to curl up against Zayn's chest up against the top of the bed, where Zayn settled a hand in Niall's hair.

"How do you want me?" said Louis, his voice teasing, but his gaze on Liam steady and reassuring.

"Um, you go sit with Harry," he said, and Harry widened his legs and raised an eyebrow in invitation until Louis was sitting in between his legs, like Niall had been. He made a startled and intrigued face as Harry pulled him in close. "Christ, watch where you're putting that bloody thing," he said.

Liam knee walked a couple of steps up the bed until he had his knees either side of Louis's shins, then boldly tucked his fingers into the waistband of Louis's pants and pulled them down, Louis lifting his hips and bending his knees to help Liam pull them off completely.

His cock slapped up against his belly, thick and red and making Liam's mouth hurt with how sharply it watered. He swallowed. "Um," he said. "Sorry in advance if I'm shit at this," and Zayn put a hand out immediately from where he was next to Harry to squeeze at Liam's knee.

"You won't be," he said earnestly. Then to Louis, "You do realise how fuckin lucky you are, don't you, mate? Getting this one's first?"

"Really, really do," said Louis, bringing a hand up to thumb at Liam's bottom lip. "Liam, mate, it's not gonna be shit. I'll talk you through it."

"Oh," said Liam. He liked that idea. "Yes please."

"Okay, um," said Louis, then cleared his throat. He spread his legs a bit wider. "Start - um. Get used to the taste first, give it a lick - yeah," he said breathlessly, and Liam wriggled down, stuck his tongue out and flickered it over Louis's cockhead. It tasted like cock, like that sharp smell of sex, musky and a bit salty, and he licked again, getting used to the feel of the delicate hot skin stretched over Louis's cockhead, the roll of the foreskin pulled back around the crown.

"Good, good," panted Louis. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah, said Liam, licking again, harder, dragging the flat of his tongue right over the head.

"Made for it," he heard Niall mutter, and Louis's cock twitched right under his tongue.

"Good - really good," said Louis again, and Liam felt warm and pleased, and reached down to squeeze at his own throbbing cock, a quick reward. "Now - suck it a bit, just the head at first, and keep your teeth covered. M-make, like, a seal, and suck."

Liam did. Louis's cock was fat, and felt even bigger than it looked with his jaw opened right around the heft of it, but he did his best, covering his lips with his teeth and sucking carefully, then a bit harder at Louis's pleased sigh.

"Oh - good. Use your tongue a bit of you want- _yes_ , fuck, you're a quick learner."

"Remember what he said the other day, when we were talking about his running and his singing and all that?" Harry murmured.

"Yeah. He likes to be good at stuff," said Zayn.

"And he's proving it," gasped Louis, and Liam wriggled his tongue quickly over Louis's slit, mouth wet with spit.

Liam really liked it, for some reason; the others talking about him, especially about him being good, while his mouth was otherwise occupied. He sucked a bit harder to let them know.

Louis swore. "God, should've known. So good, Liam. Alright - see if, like - see if you can go down a bit. Don't go too far, use your hand - yeah," he said approvingly, as Liam bumped his fingers at the base of Louis's cock, then felt Louis - no, Harry's hand, Louis's hands were on his shoulder and the back of his neck - helping him wrap his fingers around it.

"My - ah - my glamorous assistant will be - helping - _fuck_ ," groaned Louis, as Liam slid a couple of centimetres further down. It felt like a lot, his throat feeling like he could gag any second, but he focused past it and took Louis a little bit deeper, a good weight of Louis's cock filling his mouth now. God, he felt amazing, his belly hot and tight and his cock jerking and aching in his pants, which clung wetly to his cockhead. Spit was drooling messily down past his lips, but it helped, actually, getting his and Harry's fingers all wet so they slid more easily on Louis's cock as Harry helped urge him into a rhythm, wanking from the root of Louis's cock up to where Liam's lips were stretched around it.

Louis had stopped giving instructions now, just panting, thighs shifting under where Liam was resting his forearms, but Liam thought he had the gist of it now; move his head up and down a bit, keep his mouth wet and teeth covered, breathe through his nose, suck when he didn't need to breathe, use his tongue if he could gather his thoughts enough every now and again to remember it; keep up the rhythm Harry's hand was setting in wanking the rest.

It felt like running, for a few long hot moments, a physical rhythm he was good at, instinctive movement taking over, and Liam closed his eyes, sinking into it, feeling dizzy and pleased. Louis started moaning, high and tight, and his thighs tensed up hard under Liam's arms. His hips jerked upwards hard enough to shove his dick into Liam's mouth deeper than he was expecting and made him splutter.

"C'mon," Harry was saying, urging Liam up and off with his free hand on Liam's jaw, "swallowing's a bit much for anyone's first time," and Liam let Louis's cock slide from his mouth wetly. He and Harry wanked Louis hard for two more fast strokes, then Louis arched, moaned, and his cock flexed in their grip, come splattering in long streaks up his slim chest.

"Fuck," breathed Harry, and his hips were shifting restlessly into Louis's back as Louis slumped down into him. "That was so hot." He looked up at Liam. "God, your mouth."

Liam grinned helplessly, mouth feeling sore and used and wonderful. "I, um. I really liked that."

Zayn grinned at him. "You looked so good, mate. So hot. I kind of want to, like, have a go, now."

"You should blow Harry," said Niall, sleepily, tilting his head up to look at Zayn. "That would be so fuckin' pretty."

Liam was nodding. "Yes - god. Yes."

"Mrgh," said Louis. "I am not here, I have been killed by Liam's blowjob, but if I am allowed a vote in the afterlife, it's a yes."

Liam rolled his eyes, belly twisting happily. "C'mere," he said, "come cuddle," and he pulled Louis out of Harry's lap and dragged him to cuddle lower down on the bed, Liam the big spoon as they faced the top of the bed.

"Why do I keep ending up with people's dicks poking me in the back," Louis grumbled, wiggling his arse back into Liam's dick. Liam groaned and let his hips grind forward for a minute, cock sliding against Louis's smooth arse, before he made himself stop and bit Louis gently on the shoulder. "Stoppit," he said. "Little Liam can wait, I wanna see Zayn get his mouth on Harry."

"Little Liam," snickered Niall, perking up a bit.

"Everyone shut up," Harry commanded, and pulled Zayn in for a kiss. "You sure?" he said to Zayn, and Zayn nodded.

"Think I can manage it. Don't expect Liam levels of, you know, dick-savant, but he did a pretty good example."

Harry shrugged. "No two dick-suckers are the same," he said. "I try not to compare."

Zayn rolled his eyes, and tugged at Harry's pants, pulling his cock out. He wanked it slowly for a minute, watching carefully. "God, you're big."

"Thanks," said Harry, beaming.

Zayn rolled his eyes again, but couldn't stop the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Harry tended to have that effect.

Niall crawled fully off Zayn and joined Liam and Louis down the bed, sitting crosslegged by their heads and coaxing Liam to rest his head on Niall's thigh.

Harry sprawled himself crossways across the bed, pulling a pillow under his head and looking down the length of his body to where Zayn was crouched at the end. Zayn considered for a minute, then got off the bed and tugged Harry along a bit by the thighs, until Zayn could kneel on the floor to the side of the bed, Harry's thighs spread around him.

Harry's dick stood up proudly, curving back a little bit towards his belly, and Zayn wrapped his elegant fingers around it and pulled it back towards his mouth, lapped kitteny licks around the head.

"How is it?" asked Liam eagerly, and Louis giggled against him.

"This isn't a wine tasting," he said. "Ooh, oaky, I'm getting, ooh, a hint of smoke, with an apple undercurrent."

"Shut up," said Liam, flicking Louis on the hip.

Zayn smiled at him, gave Harry's dick another long, curious lick, like it was a Calippo. "Nice. I like it. I mean, it tastes like dick, but. I like it."

"I have it on good authority that my dick tastes like _prime_ dick," said Harry, propping himself up on his elbows and grinning down at Zayn. "It's - oh, fuck, yes, point taken, carry on," as Zayn went down smoothly, lips tight and stretched around Harry's fat dick.

"Talking about quick learners," said Liam, unable to tear his eyes away from Zayn's mouth sliding up and down Harry's dick, the hollow of Zayn's cheeks.

"Seriously," said Niall. "Sure you ain't done this before?" he said.

Zayn pulled off with a wet pop, and Harry moaned. "Well," he said. "Yes, but also, like. My, um. My ex-girlfriend had me - a couple of times, she had me go down on a dildo, so."

"Oh my god," said Harry, looking down at Zayn again, in awe, hand cupping his face gently. "Zayn. Fuck. That is so hot."

Zayn grinned. "Turns out it's not that different? 'Cept it tastes a lot nicer than plastic." And he went down again, deeper, throat working.

"Oh, jesus, oh Zayn, oh my god," babbled Harry, and Louis laughed.

"Says it all, innit!"

Zayn pulled off again, an obscene slurping noise. "Can I try summat? My ex did it to me once, and like, it was good, so--"

"Zayn," said Harry, fervently. "Literally anything."

"That's a dangerous thing to say without knowing," Louis pointed out. "He could want to dress you up as a Teletubby."

Liam giggled. "Oh, whatever," he said, "like you wouldn't be Laa-Laa in split second if Zayn asked you with his mouth on your dick."

"Nah, Louis's absolutely a Po, if he's gonna be anyone," offered Niall. "He's all-"

"Lads," said Zayn, patiently, though Harry was glaring at them less so. "Shut it, would you? Sort of in the middle of something here."

The three of them nodded silently and Louis mimed zipping his lips and throwing the key away.

"Good," said Zayn, and turned his attention back to Harry.

"Okay," he said. "Um--" and he put his hands on Harry's thighs, pushed them apart until Harry got the picture and propped his feet up on the bed, and ducked back in, this time putting his mouth on Harry's balls, then moving back a bit lower, and then Liam couldn't really see, but from the way Niall whispered, "Oh my god," and the way Harry swore, he was fairly sure Zayn was licking over his arsehole.

His stomach dipped hot and tight at how filthy that was, and his prick jumped again. "Oh my god," he breathed, and Louis grabbed onto his hand.

"I know," he said and rubbing his arse back into Liam's cock obligingly. "We're actually in a porn film. Zayn is a god."

Zayn pulled back, licking his lips, peering up at Harry. "Is this--?" he said, and Harry immediately put a hand on his head and pushed him back down.

"Don't even--" he warned, then groaned as Zayn got back to it, his cock leaping and drooling on his stomach.

Zayn rubbed a hand down Harry's thigh, then slid his hand down to where his mouth was, and Harry jolted all over again. "Oh, fuck--" he said, then got his hand on his cock, wanking himself furiously. Liam, Louis, and Niall all moved towards him, wanting to help, but before they could do anything Harry was coming, stomach tensing and his big cock pulsing in his fist, thighs tight around Zayn's head.

Zayn came up grinning when Harry eventually flopped back down to the bed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "Good to know it ain't just me likes that, then," he said, cheeks flushed. His cock was so hard, head peeking up past the waistband of his pants, big and flushed dark against his narrow pelvis.

"Fuck--" said Harry, heaving in a breath as Zayn stole the bottle of water on Harry's bedside table. "Zayn. Fuck. I fuckin' dare like - the Dalai Lama to not be into that."

Zayn wrinkled his nose, swishing water around his mouth and swallowing. "Not the sexiest person to bring up, Hazza."

Niall shrugged. "If Teletubbies can't kill the mood, the Dalai Lama certainly can't." He carefully eased Liam's head off his thigh and slid off the bed and went up to Zayn, took the water bottle out of his hand and put it back.

"Just, 'cause, like, if anyone wants to kiss me," Zayn explained, and Niall grinned.

" _If_ , ha," he said, and did just that, hand cupping Zayn's jaw as he kissed him carefully.

"Zayn needs very well rewarding for that," said Harry lazily, drawing his legs and shifting around so Niall could sit down on the bed, drawing Zayn down til Zayn was straddling him, knees either side of Niall's hips.

"I'm absolutely on it," said Niall, grinning, and went back to kissing Zayn, sliding his hand inside Zayn's pants to cup his arse and draw him in close, tugging the waistband til Zayn's cock was fully out, grinding wetly up the flat of Niall's belly.

"Shit," Zayn groaned into Niall's mouth, and Niall leaned back until he was flat on the bed, Zayn braced over him, hips fucking down into Niall in a regular, primal sort of rhythm that hooked under Liam's belly button.

"I feel you, cheeky monkey," Louis murmured, voice amused as Liam noticed that he was grinding his dick forward into Louis's arse in the same rhythm Zayn was rutting against Niall.

"Sorry," Liam gasped, hardly able to stop.

"Don't come, Liam," said Harry, eyes fixed on Zayn and Niall, but pointing a finger in Liam's direction. "I've got plans for your dick that I don't want you wasting on Louis's arse, great as that arse is."

"Fuck," said Liam. "'Kay. Yeah." It was a bit like saying _don't think of an elephant_ \- now all he wanted to do was come. He bit down on Louis's shoulder and forced himself to stop, cock big and throbbing, not helped by the broken moans Zayn was giving, hips moving faster into Niall, rutting into him.

Niall got one hand up between them, nudged his fingers at Zayn's mouth and fed them in when Zayn opened his lips, then slid them out shiny and wet, shoved his hand back into Zayn's pants and worked his wet hand busily between Zayn's arse cheeks.

"Oh, shit - ohh, _fuck_ ," Zayn nearly wailed, hips shoving back onto Niall's hand and then down to grind his cock hard into the slick patch he'd left on Niall's belly; he was graceful and unbelievably sexy like this, hips working, like he was - fucking, or being fucked, and--

He came with a sob, hips juddering down into Niall, who was half hard again himself; come messing up Niall's belly, catching in his belly button and the scattered coarse hairs under it.

Zayn just about managed to roll off Niall, arms flopping like a ragdoll, eyes closed, skinny chest heaving, Harry leaned over to stroke a hand through his hair.

"Now that was nice," said Harry approvingly, then looked straight at Liam, "and _someone_ still hasn't come."

Liam had been perfectly happy up until now, his cock so hard but not killing him; he'd been quite liking putting it off, revelling in that hot heavy tension between his legs. But he felt mad with it, now, he wanted to come so, so much.

"I," he said, then swallowed. "God, Harry, please."

"C'mere," said Niall, tugging him to the middle of the bed and pushing Zayn, who was still all floppy, over to the side a bit. "God, look how wet you've got."

Liam leaked quite a lot if he really got turned on, but he never usually had the patience to draw it out that long. Now, though, the whole top half of his cock was obvious in obscene relief with his wet pants clinging to it, and he pushed the heel of his palm over his eyes when Harry tugged his pants off, the slick material dragging over his cock and lighting his nerves up with almost unbearable flashes of sensation.

"God, that's so hot - look, look at him all wet," Harry said, rubbing a finger around the slippery crown of Liam's cock, Liam flinching away from how sensitive he was.

"C'mon, look at me, babe," said Harry, gently tugging Liam's arm away from his face. "You've been really good, waiting. What do you want?"

"I," said Liam, head spinning. He'd always liked Harry's mouth; it was so red, it was so nice and soft to kiss. He put his hand to Harry's face and traced the line of his bottom lip. "Can - can you suck me?"

"I was hoping you'd say that. You smell fucking brilliant, and I wanted to taste."

Harry didn't waste any time, got the whole head of Liam's cock right in his mouth, tongue flicking over it, and Liam cried out, shoving his head back onto the pillows, hands flying out. His right hand was caught and held by Louis, he was fairly sure, Niall grabbing his left wrist, Zayn nudging up into his side, warmth along the length of his body. He was surrounded by them, touching him all over, Harry's incredible mouth swallowing him right down, moaning in little vibrations like he loved it that much, loved Liam's dick that much, the delicate back of his throat fluttering wetly around him, squeezing soft as he swallowed.

Liam felt like he was floating, tingles starting way down in his toes and flooding up his body, muscles jumping in his thighs and his balls feeling so big and tense and full and ready, building up all fucking night to this explosion of release.

"Harry - you - I--" he managed, but Harry didn't move, and his hands were held tighter as he squeezed them; he came in wrenching, deep long pulses into the wet sucking heat of Harry's greedy mouth and he didn't know if he even breathed for a good long while.

He just lay there for a while once Harry let go of his cock with a wet noise, aware of people moving around a bit but not much else, until he eventually opened his eyes and took a big breath, feeling like he was waking up.

"I," he said, then cleared his throat. "I, um. Thanks, Harry."

"Any time," murmured Harry sleepily, from where he and Niall were curled up at Liam's feet. "Think everyone here deserves thanks and also, congratulations."

"Most successful orgy ever," declared Louis, cuddled into Liam's right side. Zayn was on his left. Zayn and Louis had hands thrown over Liam to touch each other, and Harry had his head pillowed on Zayn's ankles, Louis's feet kicked down to trap Niall's ankles between his - they were all touching as much of each other as they could.

"That was," started Zayn, then paused for ages, then just made a helpless sort of noise and shoved his head into Liam's shoulder.

"Fucking exactly," said Niall fervently, and pressed a kiss to presumably the nearest bit of skin near his mouth, which happened to be Liam's ankle. That, almost more than anything this evening, that one little affectionate kiss with all of the boys - all of his boys - touching him and touching each other, made something ball up in Liam's chest, all hot and tight and fierce and brand new.

"We can't sleep all in here," he realised sadly aloud. Harry's bed had been just about big enough to finagle an orgy on without anyone falling off, but it was too cramped for comfortable sleeping.

Louis made a displeased noise. "No-one's buggering off to the spare room," he said grumpily. "Not allowed."

"It is too small to sleep, though," said Zayn, making no move to, well, move.

"Oh!" said Harry. "I have a brilliant idea. Involves a bit of, like, exertion--"

"Not doing it," said Niall promptly.

"--but we should all be able to sleep together, like, you know, just for tonight. I mean, it sounds a bit cheesy, but, I think, like, we sort of need to, tonight."

"I'm listening," said Liam, dragging his head up off the pillow.

Harry beamed at him. "We drag this mattress--" he said, smacking it with his hand, "and the one on the bed in the spare room, through to the living room, shove the sofas back, put 'em together and layer a few spare duvets over them. Voila, massive mattress."

It felt a bit like a sleepover, when they'd got it all set up and borrowed t-shirts and boxers as pyjamas from Harry, all sitting sleepy and crosslegged on the huge makeshift mattress in the living room. And also not at all like a sleepover as he was used it, because they kept grabbing each other for sleepy, affectionate kisses. But there was something in the excitement of it, the novelty, that made Liam feel about seven years old again, staying up past his bedtime. It was hot under the duvets with five of them cuddled up, but after a few minutes and a few goodnight kisses they separated a bit, flung the duvet off, and Liam fell asleep easily to the soft whuffling breaths and little snores of his - well. His boyfriends, he supposed. He grinned, and fell into one of the best sleeps he'd had in ages.

\--

Waking up, at first Liam had no idea where he was. He stared at the ceiling; it looked further away than he was used to. There was a funny shaped stain in the corner. Had he been abducted? The light fitting looked a bit too nice for a kidnappers' lair.

Something moved against his arm, and he thought fuzzily, perhaps he was at home - mum and dad home - and the cat had crept into bed with him in the night. The light fitting still looked a bit nice for home, too.

Someone made a snuffly noise, a car rumbled by outside, and in a big dizzy burst Liam remembered.

"Oh!" he said, sitting straight up. Niall, who'd been dribbling on his arm, was unceremoniously dumped back down onto the mattress with a sleepy protest. "Sorry," said Liam, rubbing a hand over the tousled mess of his hair.

"Shhh," someone muttered. Liam looked around. Niall was curled up on his right, Harry to his left - with his arms flung up over his head and his curls in his face - and Louis and Zayn were the other side of Harry, curled together in a tiny ball, just tufts of hair poking up above the duvet. The Zayn-and-Louis ball had shhh-d him. Harry still looked spark out and Niall's grumbles were turning back into snores.

So. That was waking up with four boyfriends after having sex with them. Liam examined himself carefully like he did on his birthdays to see if he felt a whole year older; he didn't feel too different now that he'd had sex with a boy - with four - but he definitely felt happy.

The romantic thing to do would probably have been to snuggle back in with them and go back to sleep, but once Liam was awake, he was awake, and when he was awake happy, he couldn't stay still in bed. His toes were already wriggling slightly and he wanted to move, sort of wished he could go for a run.

He slithered out from the tangled mess of duvets and boys, earning himself a few more grumpy shh-ings, and went into the kitchen.

Harry shuffled in after a while, socks falling off, one eye much more open than the other. "Stop banging," he whined.

"I'm doing breakfast!" said Liam, brandishing a frying pan. "Have you got eggs and bacon?"

"Hmm," said Harry. He stared at Liam for a moment, then shrugged slowly, his t-shirt sliding down his shoulder. "'Kay. Banging allowed for food."

Harry went to get the eggs from the fridge, dipping in for a kiss as he went, and Liam remembered all over again that he could kiss Harry - could kiss any of them! Right now! He could go out there and wake up Zayn with kisses and he would be totally allowed to! He stood there holding the frying pan randomly in the air for a while until Niall came in and asked him what he was doing.

Eventually the five of them made a haphazard breakfast, getting in each other's way, mainly, but it was brilliant. Louis passed him the bread, gave him a kiss. Niall rubbed his hand over Liam's bum every time he walked past him. Zayn hooked his chin over Liam's shoulder while he was scrambling eggs, put his hands on his hips and said, "Looks good, baby." Harry nearly let the bacon burn under the grill because he was too busy snogging Niall up against the fridge. Louis stood guard over the kettle and wouldn't give anyone their tea or coffee until he'd got a kiss as payment. It was the best breakfast ever.

They all had normal life stuff to do that day, even if Liam thought real life was a bit overrated now, so everyone dragged themselves home after midday, with what were probably excessive goodbye kisses. Harry walked them all to the tube station, obsessively making sure he held each of their hands for the same amount of time, and Liam thought that he was going to tell Ruth when he got home.

He'd not told her much about his "boyfriend" - he named this mystery person Andrew because he felt bad picking any one of his actual boyfriends over the others, and that they'd met online. She'd been so nice about it, and he was certain that if she knew it was real, she wouldn't joke about it or act like it was impossible, she'd listen to him, and, like, maybe she'd think it was odd - Liam still thought it was odd, even when it was making total sense in how brilliant it was - but she was still Ruth and she'd try.

He didn't tell the lads, but went home with nervousness leaping around in his tummy, thought it was mostly kept at bay by all the leftover happiness from last night.

Ruth was eating a sandwich in front of the telly when Liam came in. She put it down immediately and started to speak, then stopped and grinned. "Well," she said instead. "Someone had fun last night, eh?"

"Um," said Liam, feeling his cheeks go brilliant red. "None of your business, really."

Ruth cackled. "'Course it's my business when I get to tease my baby brother! Okay, okay, listen, two things I need to talk to you about. Well, one thing, but two things about it, the main thing being, don't forget it's cousin Claire's wedding in February."

"Ugh," said Liam. He hadn't forgotten, but he hadn't been thinking about it because he hated family weddings. They were always so long and boring and awkward and everyone always asked when he was going to bring a lovely girl along. Unease curled in his stomach. "Yeah."

"Okay, _one_ , are you gonna bring Andrew? Because you really should, babe, if you like him, and the way you're mooning around the place you obviously do, but we need to tell mum sooner rather than later and plan for it, and stuff."

"Um," said Liam, pulling uncomfortably at his wilted fringe. "I, um. I dunno. What's the second thing?"

"Oh!" said Ruth, grinning and clapping her hands together in relish. "Guess who's apparently RSVP'd and will be showing his face? Only Uncle Steve!"

Liam felt a bit like he'd just been minding his own business walking along the pavement, when a huge lorry had roared past and drenched him with horrible cold puddle water.

"Oh my god," he said, his little fingers starting to tremble a bit. "Oh my god, I'm - what if - I'm Uncle Steve."

"What?" said Ruth, staring at him. "No, you're not Uncle Steve, don't be silly. Unless you're hiding a secret urge to run off and join the circus?"

The thing was, Uncle Steve was the family shame, in the Paynes-and-extended family. He wasn't exactly an Uncle, a few branches away from Liam on the family tree, but everyone knew about him. He had been a respectable member of the family, a moderately successful solicitor, who'd decided at age 40 to quit his job and become a clown.

He'd said it was his lifelong dream. He'd insisted it was all he wanted to do, all he'd ever wanted; that he didn't care about his good job, about providing for his family - he wanted to go to clown school and, well, Liam presumed he would go off and be in a circus somewhere. Or maybe just do kids' Christmas parties.

His wife had told him it was stupid, and they'd got acrimoniously divorced because he said she didn't support his clown dreams and she said he didn't support his family. To be fair, his wife had been a successful barrister too, so it wasn't like he was leaving them destitute by becoming a clown, but apparently it was the principle of the thing. Their son had not only had to go through his parents' divorce but also get mercilessly teased at school because when his dad picked him up for his weekends, he drove to the school in his specially customised clown car and squirted teachers with the flower in his buttonhole at parents' evening.

As it turned out, Uncle Steve was a bit crap at being a clown. He'd gone to clown school - which was apparently an actual thing, with a two-year foundation degree and everything - and consistently failed his clown exams. He'd admitted after about six months it wasn't really what he'd thought it would be and he wasn't particularly good at either making people laugh or staying upright on a unicycle. By this time his ex-wife had married a milkman she was head over heels for, and Uncle Steve now lived alone in a sad studio flat in Bristol. The family didn't bring it up much, except in vague whispers or after a few too many sherries at Christmas.

The point was, Liam could be the Uncle Steve, if he really did this. He didn't have the wife and kids, but if he told Ruth, if he told his family, if he wanted to do silly things like bring his boyfriends to weddings and family Christmases and Payne Pictionary tournaments - if he did that, he would be That Family Member everyone talked about. Liam with all his boyfriends, did you hear he's got a harem, youth these days, tell a man he can marry another man and look what they think they can do, there'll be people marrying horses next, world's going down the toilet, mark my words. Tell people they can do anything they want and they go off and become clowns.

And honestly that would be okay, it absolutely would, if he had the lads. But the thing was, seeing that future made him realise that he could turn out to be a bit crap at his own version of clown school - at being in a brand new five-way relationship that he had no proper idea how to navigate. Every worry he'd crammed into that box in his head was leaping out now and blowing raspberries in his face, and some of them had clown shoes on.

It might seem all fun and orgies now, but thinking about it long term, it seemed sort of obvious that eventually Liam would be too sensible and boring to actually make this work, and it would all go horribly wrong; the other four would probably give up and go off and realise things were much easier as a square than a pent-, penta-thing - and then he'd be that weird family member with nothing to show for it. Everyone would say, why did he cause such a bloody fuss if he wasn't actually going to stick to it? And the invitations would drop off and he wouldn't be able to go to the long boring weddings even if he wanted to. Ruth would sigh, and he'd have to go live with Uncle Steve in Bristol in the studio of bad choices and listen to him complain about how hard it was to walk in those big shoes and how was he supposed to have known he was allergic to white facepaint?

"Oh my god," he moaned, holding his hands over his face.

"Liam, are you alright?" Ruth was saying, standing up and coming over to him all worried. "You won't, no-one will care you've got a boyfriend, you won't be Uncle Steve, I promise--"

"Noooo," Liam moaned, because Ruth didn't understand even a little bit, it wasn't that at all, it was about how he'd fuck it up and there was no point. "I mean - I know. Sorry. I'm just. I'm really tired. I need to have a shower and a nap."

Ruth looked at him doubtfully, a hand on his shoulder. "Are you sure? Do you wanna talk?"

"No," said Liam, exhaustion washing over him despite how well he'd slept. His chest felt funny and wonky and he bit his lip. "No, sorry. I will later, I promise, I just really need to have a lie down for a bit, I'm tired."

\--

Jade texted him seven times and left three shouty voicemails after he sent her a rambly email about how he'd had sex with them but he needed to break up with them because he was going to ruin it sooner rather than later and he should do it now before he was Uncle Steve. Her last text read 'AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIPPITY FUCK DO CLOWNS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING??????'

Liam ignored them all, along with the Sex Factor Whatsapp group lighting up with little affectionate emojis and questions about their days, until he saw Jade text again saying, 'are you gonna tell the boys soon because they shud hear it from you not someone else.'

Liam sat up and nearly fell off his bed in his haste to ring her. "What? Who else is going to tell them? Jade!"

"You're an idiot," said Jade, taking a deep breath, "and--"

"Shh, I know, rant at me in a minute, what do you mean someone else will tell them?"

Jade made a guilty noise. "I haven't said owt! But I'm chatting to Perrie on text - you know, Harry's best mate from the bakery--"

"What?" Liam squawked. "How do you know her? I didn't--"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, babe, honestly. I know their names, you showed me their faces from pictures on your phone, there's a magical tool called Facebook and with a subtle bit of stalking I tracked down Harry's pink haired friend who you said knew about you lot, and I messaged her because I thought the five of you needed some female intuition, or at least two people who know to talk about it, outside of you lot. Seems I was bloody right, it's taken you a record amount of time to cock this up. Anyway, I texted her saying 'uh-oh', but nothing else."

Liam blinked, somewhat speechless, not sure if he wanted to strangle Jade or kiss her. It was clearly done with love, but sometimes he wanted her meddling fingers shoved away in mittens. Scratchy ones. "I - fuck," he said.

Jade hummed. "Can you explain this crap to me properly, babe?"

Liam fell back face down on the bed and mumbled, "I d'n wanna be Uncle Steve."

"I can't hear you through what I am presuming is your duvet, idiot."

"I do - not - want - to - be - Uncle Steve," he said, spitting each word out.

"Saying it again won't make it mean anything more than it did in your weirdo email. Who the fuck is Uncle Steve - oh, no, wait! You told me about him once - clown man?"

"Yeah," said Liam, and explained.

It made even more sense to Liam once he'd told her, expected Jade to agree sympathetically and tell him he was right to do it now before anyone got too hurt and he had to move to Bristol.

Instead there was a long pause, and Jade said, "How do you survive?"

"Wha?" said Liam, sitting up a bit.

"No, honestly. How do you do things like shave your face and cross the road and survive it all when you're this bleedin' stupid," she hissed, the phone crackling alarmingly in his ear. "Liam! You're such a tosser - that made literally no sense, especially the bit about the shoes, but I'm shelving the increasingly inane clown comparisons and focusing on the thing where you think it's not worth it to try it because you think it might not work."

"Because of me, I'm--" Liam tried to explain, but Jade steamrollered over him.

"No, because you think you're boring is not a reason that, A, it won't work, or that B, you shouldn't try. You've been trying since the first night when they all rocked up in their bloody blue scarves and you've been keeping on trying ever since and seeing as you got spectacularly shagged last night - which, by the way, two sentences at the beginning of a long stupid email is not enough detail, but we'll come back to that - shows it seems to be going pretty bloody well."

Liam felt a bit like crying, because Jade didn't get it. "But it won't work forever," he said, kicking his feet petulantly on the bed. "It can't."

"Liam. Whether there's one other person or fifteen in a relationship, literally everyone goes through this when they start to get even slightly serious with someone new. 'Oh no, we might break up, in fact stats say we're more likely to break up than stay together forever'. But somehow everyone - apart from full-on commitment-phobic knobjockeys - goes for it anyway. It doesn't matter that you might break up, it matters you try."

If this really were a rom-com, the one that felt like it started in that restaurant, Jade would have convinced Liam, and he would have sprinted out of the flat and met all the lads in a joyous hug, maybe in the middle of somewhere like Trafalgar Square or something cinematically impressive, but it just made Liam feel worse. It wasn't that easy; it wasn't just about trying. It wasn't the same as any relationship, for a whole load of reasons; maybe because the disintegration of five people had to be a million times worse than just two, maybe because he didn't want to be Uncle Steve and make a fuss that turned out to be nothing, maybe because he somehow knew when it fucked up it would be his fault - like it was right now - and he didn't want to face the guilt of making it even shittier for the others that it would be now. They'd be fine if Liam ended it now – the other four might be a bit sad, but they had each other. That wasn't fun to think about, but it was better than the alternative.

"I know you don't get it," he said miserably, "but I just, I can't try. It's not gonna work and it's not fair to keep it going. Like, on them. And I know you're being my friend by trying to talk me out of it, thank you, but maybe I need you to be my friend by coming over and watching Pixar films with me and bring me like seven bags of those salt and vinegar twirls from Tesco."

"Oh, Liam," she sighed. "You're an idiot, and I am not letting this go completely, but - fine. Fine. You're my favourite idiot, after all. Do you want me to bring my special caramel-flavoured Horlicks?"

"Yes," said Liam miserably.

\--

Two weeks later, Jade was still texting him every morning that he was an idiot before she moved on to talk about anything else. That morning she'd also texted him an update from Perrie, the two of the apparently becoming partners in bloody crime, thick as thieves, conspiring to make Liam's life difficult. Which was to say, apparently, that Harry was still walking around looking like someone had run over and totally squashed a whole batch of his cupcakes hot out of the oven and then told him his hair was stupid, and that he still hadn't seen any of the other boys even once.

Liam had told the others in a long run-on message that he'd rewritten seventeen times, a lot of rambling on about being really sorry but he couldn't do this any more and they were all really wonderful and he would miss them but it was for the best in the long run. He'd made sure to delete any reference to clowns in his final draft as Jade had told him it really hadn't strengthened his argument. Sex Factor had been quiet for a full week now; the others had tried for two days and Niall had kept trying every day for the first week, but Liam had just ignored it every time the little chime had gone off on his phone. He'd put on Corrie with the volume up to maximum as if very loud arguing about alleged paternity on the cobbles could distract him; at least until the flat next door started pounding on the wall in protest. Apparently there was only so much Deirdre anyone could take at that decibel level.

He assumed they'd made another group to carry on without rubbing it in Liam's face, and that they'd carried on having kisses and sex and dates and everything too, just like before but without him. But word from Perrie was not that at all.

Liam couldn't quite believe that, to be honest. He expected himself to be a bit sad for a while. He was sure he'd get over it at some point - maybe he could try going on another date in, maybe, a few years - but the others were meant to realise he was doing the best thing for them and get on with it all in a much more symmetrical manner. They weren't doing it properly, though, they weren't getting over him quickly.

He really wished he wasn't pleased by that. It defeated the whole purpose.

He meant to walk straight to the tube station and go home like he had every night for the past few weeks, but his feet took him past the entrance and kept him walking, aimlessly. It was cold, everyone bustling by with their scarves pulled up around their mouths and hats pulled down over their foreheads, just lots of strips of frowny faces hurrying past him.

Liam didn't like hats, but his ears got cold, so he tended to wear earmuffs when it got nippy. They were blue and matched his gloves; his mum got them for him for Christmas last year. He hadn't bought her Christmas present yet. He kept wondering what he'd get Harry and Niall and Zayn and Louis for Christmas then catching himself.

He didn't know where he was walking, just along the crowded pavements of London, until he realised he was nearing the river. He was feeling all melancholy and thinky, and walks along the river seemed the perfect place for that. He'd been wondering recently - okay, he'd been wondering every bloody day - if maybe he'd been a bit wrong and Jade had been right, after all.

Nothing had really changed - it still seemed ridiculous to think that he, Liam, could make it work in something as complicated as a five-way relationship - he'd barely been able to get to grips with anything more complicated than the times tables in maths; he didn't like complicated things. He was sure he'd miss something obvious and get everything terribly wrong, somehow upset everyone, and he still saw his Uncle Steve future all spread out in front of him, but. The real thing was that he missed them. He knew he would, but not this much, not like he'd swallowed something spiky and it was lodged in his chest.

He missed Zayn's soft smile and tenderness, the way he held Liam's elbow or put his hand on Liam's hip like he was made of glass, and how it felt like he could love so deeply if Liam only let him; he missed Harry's dimples and the way he said the weirdest things that ended up making complete sense after Liam had thought about it for two days, and the way his attention felt so warm on his face like a beam of sunshine when he put it all on Liam and made him feel like he mattered; he missed the way Louis made him laugh until his throat ached and the way he felt like he could walk floating five feet above the ground when he made Louis laugh in return, and the warm soft awed look Louis would give each of them when he thought they weren't looking; he missed Niall's laugh, the way it was like his kiss, warm and open and delighted and free, the way he made Liam love everything harder just by being around.

He was at Tower Bridge, now, and it was huge and lit up brightly. It had started to snow, and people were pointing at the snowflakes swirling in the floodlights angled towards the bridge. Liam didn't need to cross the river, he'd just need to come back at some point, or get on the tube the other side and change twice to get home, but he started to walk over it anyway. He didn't feel ready to start walking anywhere with purpose, yet - he needed more time of aimless wandering to turn things over uselessly in his head, and he thought he had a good half hour left before his feet got really cold.

It felt like one of those climactic moments in a rom-com, except Liam was alone on the bridge, trudging along as the snow fell more heavily. The bridge was busy with tourists, like always, but it really seemed like there were an excessive number of couples around. Halfway across the bridge, he headed over to the side and propped his arms up on the ledge, looking west down the river. The HMS Belfast was all lit up in vibrant colours, the Shard standing proudly up into the sky, and Liam felt bloody lonely. There was a couple a few feet to his left, a girl holding her girlfriend's hand and pointing down the river, laughing. Her girlfriend smiled, then they kissed and she looked deliriously happy. Liam wanted to tip them off the bridge.

Not fair, he thought petulantly. He wanted that. He wanted someone to hold hands with, to walk along the bridge with and kiss them and make them smile like nothing would ever be wrong again in the world. He could do that.

 _Yeah, but you didn't_ , said a little voice in his head, that he recognised immediately as a memory of Zayn's.

It was another lorry-drenching moment, except not cold and horrible but warm and sweet – not like dirty puddle water but like caramel-flavoured Horlicks, perhaps. That was it. That was what Zayn had said in the art gallery, when Louis had said, _psh, I could do that_. A bit of a leap, from commentary on modern art to whatever he was doing - polyamory wasn't quite Damien Hirst - but it made that same bit of Liam's brain click open again.

It didn't matter what he thought - if he wanted it, or if he was scared of it, or if he thought it wouldn't work, or whatever - what mattered was doing it. Taking the risk and taking what he wanted when it was there. He could do that - so he actually should.

What about Uncle Steve, though? said Ruth's voice, sensibly.

The vision of his future, so clear and clown-flavoured before, had gone a bit fuzzy. Maybe it was the snow. "Maybe," he admitted aloud, breath gusting out white, words lost out to the black river, "maybe I don't have to be Uncle Steve." Maybe it really was as simple as not worrying about the future, but worrying about now, and right now, he wanted to hold hands with someone on a bridge in the snow and make them smile, and when he pictured it, it was Harry, Zayn, Niall and Louis he saw, and if he wanted that, well. He had to just go and take it.

CONGRATU-FUCKIN-LATIONS yelled Jade's voice in his head. DIDN'T I BLOODY SAY, YOU--

"SHUT UP I KNOW," yelled Liam, then, "sorry, sorry, nothing," when the couple next to him looked around in alarm. "Wait, no, sorry! Do you know where the Tate Modern is?"

"Um," said the girl nearest him, squeezing back into her girlfriend like she could protect her from this crazy man, "on the South Bank." She pointed along the river. "You see St Paul's on the north side? Opposite there."

"Great," said Liam, breathlessly. He'd known it was near-ish. That was definitely the closest of the lot of them. Yes. "Thanks," he said, and he ran.

Well, okay, he ran for a couple of minutes, dodging tourists, then realised that the Tate was probably about a twenty minute walk away and he'd be dead if he ran all the way there and he didn't want to reunite with Zayn just to dramatically die at his feet - it wasn't that type of film he was going for - and slowed to a walk, but he was running in his mind.

He was still breathless when he finally arrived at the Tate Modern; it had started to snow even more heavily and his feet were freezing, but he wasn't really paying attention, more concerned with the horde of butterflies that seemed to have spawned in his tummy and were fluttering up to his chest as he darted into the entrance. It was getting close to closing time and people were pouring out, and Liam was terrified he'd missed Zayn as he weaved around people, heading over to the gift shop - the lights were off, the door closed.

Liam's heart was in his throat - it didn't seem fair he'd have this personal epiphany in the snow and then fuck up being able to act on it - when he finally saw Zayn, walking away from the gift shop, messenger bag swinging at his side. "Hey!" he yelled, and people looked around, but Zayn didn't. He started running. "Zayn!" he yelled this time, and this time Zayn did turn around, frowning.

He saw Liam just as Liam skidded to a stop in front of him. "Hi--oh!" he said, stumbling over his own feet towards Zayn, body still moving even though he'd told his feet to stop.

"Liam?" said Zayn, reaching out to steady him. "Liam--"

Then he was tugging Liam in, using the momentum to drag him into a hug.

Liam hugged him so tight; Zayn was so narrow and warm against him, and Liam was probably getting cold snow all over him but Zayn was grabbing him just as tight, fingertips digging into his shoulders even through his coat.

"I'm sorry," Liam said, muffled into the side of Zayn's head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated, as they pulled a few inches apart. "I just, I'm sorry, I had this big freak-out and--"

"Shh, no, it's okay," said Zayn, and then his hand was warm on Liam's jaw and he was pulling him in for a kiss, and Liam nearly melted into him; his mouth was so warm and soft and tender on Liam's, and Liam had missed it, so much.

"Wait," said Zayn pulling back, frowning, "you're definitely here to--"

"To fix this, yes, yes," Liam assured him. "If, I mean, if you'll all have me, I know I was a moron, but."

"We'll have you," said Zayn, nodding. "God, Liam, of course we will." He hugged Liam again, shoving his face in Liam's shoulder, then pulled back quickly and hit Liam in the shoulder, lightly enough it couldn't be called a punch in any language, but the upset furrow in Zayn's eyebrows hurt much more. "God, Liam!"

"I know," Liam wailed. "I, just. I freaked out for really stupid reasons--" He wasn't going to bring up the clown thing yet. "I just realised literally 30 minutes ago, I almost ran here, that I was being really silly and making everything much more complicated than it needed to be, so, um."

"Don't do it again, would you?" said Zayn. "That was horrible. Really horrible, Liam."

"I know," said Liam miserably, dropping his hand down to tangle with Zayn's. "You all weren't supposed to be that sad, though, you were meant to carry on and get over me and be happy together!"

Zayn pulled back and hit him again, and it actually hurt this time.

"Ow!" he said.

"You bloody deserved that," said Zayn fiercely. "Never heard anything that ridiculous in my life."

"Well, I thought, it makes sense - four is better than five, logistically."

"Oh, logistically, is it? Well, what if I'd said, you know what, not really into this, bye guys. Would you and Harry and Niall and Louis just shrug and carry on? Seeing as it's logistically better?"

"What, no!" said Liam. "Zayn, no, you have to be a part of it, it wouldn't work without one of--" He trailed off. "Oh."

"Oh. _Oh_. Oh!" said Zayn, and hit him again. "We said it from the bloody beginning, you melon, it doesn't work without all of us. As if we were all gonna carry on without you."

"Okay," mumbled Liam, pleased and sheepish and embarrassed all at the same time. "Okay, yes. Shall we, like. Shall we go and get the others then?"

Zayn grinned at him. "Do they know?"

Liam shook his head. "No. I came here first. I was on Tower Bridge."

Zayn narrowed his eyes. "Not gonna ask. Okay, so - Niall works tonight, right? Unless he changed his schedule. He's the next closest, if we get the Northern from Waterloo, right, to Leicester Square?"

"Yeah," said Liam, grinning uncontrollably. "God, I can't wait to see him, I missed him so much. Missed you. Missed everyone."

"Me too," said Zayn, fervently.

"Sorry," said Liam, feeling awful.

"It's okay. I mean, it was shit to go through, but I think we're all allowed a freak-out about this, it's, pretty, like intense, innit? Just don't cut yourself off like that again. Freak-outs are group business."

"Agreed," said Liam, and put his hand out for Zayn to shake. Zayn took it and pulled him in for a smooch.

"Sealed with a kiss," he said, grinning against Liam's mouth. "Let's go get Niall."

It was rush hour, the tube packed, but they squeezed into a carriage, Liam steadying Zayn with an arm around his narrow waist and grinning helplessly. "Remind me to text Jade when we get out the tube," he said. "She's been trying to get me to realise I was being stupid ever since."

"We'll buy her some flowers," said Zayn, kissing Liam's chin.

The pub was also packed - if Londoners knew how to do anything, it was post-work drinks, and Niall looked frazzled behind the bar, hair wilting slightly and cheeks flushed. Liam wanted to cry with how much he'd missed him.

It took a while for them to squeeze through to get to the bar, and when Niall came over to serve them, it took him a moment. "Alright, what can I getch--" he started then froze, open mouthed, eye darting between Zayn and Liam, squeezed in next to each other.

"Um," said Liam, "surprise?"

He had to yell to be held over the noise of the pub, and Niall still didn't move, so he leaned forward, reached his arm over the bar and grabbed Niall's hand in his, tangling their fingers together. He pulled Niall in, said in his ear, "I'm sorry, I was a knob, but if you can forgive me, I really, really want you back."

Niall blinked, looked between Zayn and Liam again - Zayn grinning like an idiot - and said, "Oh my god," and dropped his head forward to catch Liam's mouth with his own. The bar around them went up in cheers and _oi-oi-oi_ s.

"Yes, fuck, you little - ah, fuck," said Niall, looking dazed, a smile starting to tug up his mouth. "Yes, I'll bloody well have you, 'long as the others do. See you've got Zayn on your side already," he said.

"Just picked him up, heading to Harry next, I think. You coming?"

"Fuck yes," said Niall emphatically, then looked at Zayn. "God, it is so fucking good to see you, Zayn," and leaned in to kiss him, too, making the patrons around them _Ohhh_ even louder.

"Get in, lad!" said someone loudly, and Liam looked around to see it was Eoghan at the bar. "Get on with ya, son, shift's nearly over. Stop distracting the customers."

"Love you man, owe you," said Niall, then physically clambered over the bar, hooking his hands in both Zayn's and Liam's.

Outside in the cold Niall swore about ten more times, then kissed Liam again, then Zayn. Zayn's fingers were gorgeous and gentle on Niall's jaw, and there was a desperation in their kiss that showed how much they'd all been missing each other, just as Liam had been missing them, and that it was his fault.

Niall reached out without breaking the kiss and punched Liam in the arm.

"I'm assuming Zayn's already given you at least one of those?" he said a moment later, smiling.

"A kiss or a punch?" said Liam with a weak grin.

"Not sure which you deserve most, honestly, mate."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Maybe he should have printed that on a card to hand out. "You can punch me as much as you want because I was really stupid, I had this big freak-out, and like, I know. But a kiss for every punch would be a nice deal?"

"Hard bargain," said Niall, and kissed him again.

Liam texted Jade to ask her if Perrie could confirm if Harry was at home or on shift, replied 'yeah yeh tell u about it later i was wronggg etc etc' to her solid three messages of rows of exclamation marks.

"Alright," he said when she actually got him the info, "Harry's at the bakery 'til--" He checked his watch "--eight, so we should be fine to catch him there."

"Central line from Tottenham Court Road to Notting Hill Gate?" said Zayn.

"Let's go."

The tube journey was a straight shot but a bit of a way. Niall leaned forward, a hand on Liam's knee across the carriage. "What exactly kind of freak-out did you have that made you ignore us for two whole weeks?"

"Oh god," said Zayn. "He had some stupid idea he'd fuck it up and we'd be better off without him. Expected us to carry on without him, if you can believe."

Niall rolled his eyes. "Fuck's sake. The worst thing is, I can believe it of him. Plonker."

"I'm right here," said Liam mildly.

"Shh," said Niall. "We're gossiping about you. Now, Zayn, on a scale of one to ten, how much sex do we need to withhold to punish Liam for this?"

"Oh my god," said Liam. "This is not fair. We need a group vote."

"I dunno, mate," said Zayn, thoughtfully. "I mean, I agree he doesn't really deserve orgasms from us for a while but, like, I think we might be punishing ourselves that way. Remember his cock?"

"Yeah," said Niall wistfully. "It was a pretty cock."

"Oh, my god," said Liam, covering his face. "I take it back. I don't want this. I'm going home." Lies.

"Lies," said Niall comfortably.

\--

Harry dropped two Eccles cakes on the floor when Zayn, Niall and Liam walked in, and Perrie said, "Finally! How long!"

"I," said Harry, looking at them, then the pastries on the floor, then at Perrie. "What?"

"Sorry, sorry," gasped Liam. "Tube waited for bloody ages at Lancaster Gate."

"You," said Harry, looking down at the mess again like it held all the answers. "What?" He looked at Perrie. "You?"

"Jade said Liam had some change of heart and was rocking around the city picking you all up one by one like the bleedin' Lost Boys or something, and I told her he had to get here by eight the absolute latest, and look at the--"

"Oh my god," said Harry, and came round the counter, towards them. On instinct they all moved in at the same time, falling into a tight group hug, arms slotting around each other, no-one saying anything. Harry's arms were long, touching all three of them, clutching in a fierce hold in the collar of Liam's coat, his face pressed into Liam's neck, breath hot and damp against his skin.

It was almost perfect; just the nearly palpable space of one person missing.

"I'm sorry," Liam started when they eventually pulled back, but Harry stopped him immediately.

"No," he said.

"What?" said Liam, terrified Harry didn't want to hear him explain, that he'd fucked up too much. That Harry didn't want him back.

"I don't care," he explained earnestly, and he didn't look angry, at least. "I don't care why you, like, pulled away, I only care that you changed your mind, that you're - that all of you are here. You know? Like. Everyone makes weird choices, and mistakes, and if we spend all the time explaining why we did them - especially when, like, most of the time the reasoning is, _I'm human_ \- then we don't get to spend time on the right decisions, to live in the future we, like, create for ourselves."

Harry spoke so slowly and meaningfully that Liam almost felt like crying or singing or running when he was done - his usual emotional outlets - and Niall curled into Harry, both arms slipping around his waist. "I missed you so much, you great weird lump," he said, and they all pretended not to see Zayn rubbing his eyes.

"When are we getting him?" Harry asked, and no-one needed to ask who.

"Next," said Liam, "But I don't - I'm not sure where he'd be."

"His uni," said Harry immediately.

"Isn't it a bit late?" said Niall.

"Yeah - oh, wait!" said Zayn, and Harry nodded. "What's the date?"

"The seventeenth," said Harry. "His drama thing we were going to go to is tonight."

"Oh, fuck," said Liam, feeling awful all over again, that they'd all missed Louis's dress rehearsal of his drama soc's winter play.

"Shush, Liam," commanded Harry, then leaned in for a quick kiss, which immediately became not so quick. "Wow, I had forgotten about your mouth," he said, then of course had to remind himself of Zayn and Niall's.

"Good thing there aren't any _customers around this close to closing_ ," called out Perrie pointedly.

Harry pulled away from Zayn's mouth with a slick noise, looking sheepish. "Oops," he said. Then, "The performance will be over probably about half eight? So we should get there to meet him after it."

"Queen Mary's nearest tube is Mile End," said Liam, scrolling through the website on his phone. "Bloody other side of the city, but direct on the Central line, at least."

"What are we waiting for, then, lads?" said Niall. "Let's complete this circle."

The tube journey felt like a bloody age, Liam jiggling his leg, excitement and nerves fizzing through him until Harry put a big warm hand on his knee.

"It'll be fine," he said.

"What if," said Liam, "what if it's not, though? You've all just forgiven me like that, like I wasn't really awful for two weeks for no reasons that even make sense to me any more. What if Louis hates me or thinks I'm so stupid he doesn't want to do this? Then, like, I buggered it up for you lot, too, not just losing him for myself, you've lost him, and I've lost, oh, god, you lot too, and--"

Zayn and Niall's hands tangled together then joined Harry's on Liam's knee, leaning over from their seats."Breathe, Liam, shh," said Zayn. "He'll forgive you, he will, I promise."

"But--"

"The way he looked at you, Liam," said Harry. "If you saw that, you wouldn't be worried for even a second."

Liam looked at Harry, eyebrows raised. "No way - it was the way he looked at you. Like you were the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. If it were you, yeah, but--"

"Um," said Niall, "just to add in to this weird as fuck argument - the way he looked at Zayn was like he'd hung the fucking moon and stars. I always thought if I could get one person to look at me like that, I'd've done summat right."

"But he did," said Zayn. "All the time. Think the point is, Louis is pretty much - you know. Pretty mad about all of us. He - well. Not to get anyone's back up, ain't in the mood for another freak-out yet, but he loves really hard, even if he jokes about everything a lot of the time. So - he's probably hurting, like we all were, but he's not gonna say no, Liam."

Liam tucked away the _love_ thing into a special little corner - it wasn't scary, it was something to take out and look at later, like how he kept his running trophies in a box in the his wardrobe and sometimes took them out and rubbed his thumb over them and felt proud and awesome. Even the really funny little ones with the creepy faceless running man on.

"Okay," he said. "Holding you all to that, okay? Okay."

The main Queen Mary campus was pretty busy, students milling about, and they stood around lost in the quad at first, before grabbing one of the students at random and asking them where the auditorium was. They trundled across the small campus in the direction they pointed, and at first thought they'd missed Louis, because there was no-one in the wing of the building where it was, and both the double-doors to the auditorium and the small doors further down the corridor to backstage were closed, with no sign of activity. "Okay," said Zayn, getting his phone out, "it might spoil the surprise a bit, but we can just ring him--"

"Oh," said Liam involuntarily, because the stage door was opening and a bunch of students were spilling out, Louis at the head of them, chatting animatedly to a girl next to him.

The students sort of paused as they came to where Liam, Harry, Niall and Zayn were blocking the corridor. "Can we help you?" said one guy, then Louis looked up from his conversation and saw them.

"Um," said Liam. "Hi?" Niall gave a little wave next to him.

Louis didn't say anything, just stared at them, and the others, presumably sensing something dramatic was happening, drifted up past them, the girl patting Louis's arm and saying, "Speak to you later, okay?"

"Hey," said Zayn. "You alright, Lou?"

Louis made a little noise, then put his fist against his mouth, and Liam's chest felt wobbly. "Louis," he said, "don't - ah, please don't - I'm sorry, look, we're--"

"Shut up," said Louis fiercely, and stumbled forward, head already going down as he sort of fell into Liam and the four of them wrapped him up, all tight and close and perfect, fucking finally, the five of them slotting together freakishly perfectly.

"Shh, don't," said Liam helplessly when he realised Louis was shaking against him. "I'm sorry, I know, I'm a knob, please don't cry, punch me instead, I can take it."

"Ughhh," said Louis, "I hate you," muffled and damp but clear. He wriggled enough to free his head, face red and eyelashes clumped wet. "I mean, I don't - okay maybe I do - but I fucking hate you for making me do this--ugh," he said, shoving his face back into Liam's chest and crying a bit more as everyone squeezed in even closer.

"Sorry," said Louis after a minute, pushing back, though no-one let him actually get out of the hug properly. "I just - me mum couldn't come down, Lottie wasn't very well. It's only the dress rehearsal, it's fine; but first you lot were gonna come, and then - and then me mum was, and then she didn't and that was fine, I was _fine_ , and you all bloody - showed up, and apparently that was it."

"If it helps, I cried for like two hours when I realised Liam was really dumping us," said Niall, hand stroking through Louis's hair.

"Oh, god," said Liam.

"I cried for two days," offered Harry, then looked guilty. "Oh no, Liam, don't feel bad, I'm trying to not make you feel too bad."

"Shut up, he should feel bad, what the hell is wrong with you?" asked Louis, wriggling his arms free from Zayn and Niall's grips so he could punch Liam with both hands.

"Ow, ow, sorry, I'm sorry, ow!" said Liam, laughing, somehow, because Louis always did that.

"Fucking - making us cry - being an idiot - giving up on all these fine specimens of manhood, are you even human? After that amazing sex?"

"I know," said Liam. "You can punch me forever, I was wrong. I just got really scared and stupid, and--"

"Put your big eyes away, I'm not gonna feel bad for you for at least a week," said Louis, then belied his words by putting his arms around Liam's neck and kissing him. Liam groaned into the kiss, no clue how he thought he could live without this, the quick deft slide of Louis's tongue and the sharp little nibble of his teeth right on the plump middle of Liam's bottom lip; but he hardly had the time to get his hands on Louis's arse like he'd missed before Louis was pulling off and practically climbing Harry to get at his mouth, eager and frantic, then twisting to tug in Zayn by his belt loops and kissing him filthily while leaning back against Harry's chest, then Liam slid his hand around the back of Niall's neck and pushed him carefully in so that Louis just had to turn his head to have his go on Niall's mouth, pink tongues slipping out and shining in the bright strip lighting in the corridor.

"Okay," said Louis, reluctantly pulling away from Niall, "okay. Wow. Okay."

He stood up a bit, and they weren't hugging or kissing any more, but they were standing in a tight knot, hands moving from person to person because it didn't seem enough to just touch two other people at a time, it had to be everyone.

"Okay," said Zayn back him, grinning. "You alright now?"

"I," said Louis, and rubbed away the last of the wetness under his eyes. "Fuck all of you, I never cry."

"Demonstrably untrue," said Niall, "but it's okay, I won't tell anyone."

"Are we doing this, then?" said Louis. "Are we really doing this? No-one else going to do a Liam--"

"Oh, god."

"--and fuck off for no reason and break all our poor hearts? Because, like, not to be a wilting flower, but not sure I can do that again for a while. Not my favourite two weeks I've ever had, if I'm being honest."

"Freak-outs are group business, I made Liam promise," said Zayn. "We should all promise. I mean, this is weird, innit. Five of us, we all know that, none of us really know what we're doing, and I think all of us are gonna have freak-outs at some point. But we have to talk it through with everyone, or it's not fair."

"We're all in this together," said Liam remembering something from their first date, and Louis grinned at him.

"So no more freak-outs," said Louis, worming his hand into Liam's.

"Well, like Zayn said, that might be a bit much to ask," said Harry reasonably. "How about, no freak-outs where we disappear off and don't talk to anyone, deal?" He slid his hand into Liam's other one.

"Absolutely agreed," said Liam, nodding like those little car ornaments. "Although - can I just - can no one schedule a freak-out in the third week of February?"

"I'll put it in my diary," said Niall slowly. "Why?"

"Well," said Liam. "Got a wedding, my cousin's getting married." He paused.

"Sounds fun," said Zayn innocently, eyes gleaming. "Why does that involve us?"

"Well," said Liam, "I thought maybe. You'd like to come with me, like. As my dates?"

"Open bar?" said Louis.

"Think so," said Liam.

"Then absolutely yes," said Louis, hand going tight around Liam's.

"I'm in," said Niall, grinning. "Bet you look so good all poshed up. Bet you all do."

"I'll stop these lot embarrassing you," said Harry loyally, thumb rubbing over the back of Liam's hand.

Zayn laughed and grabbed Harry's free hand. His other was twined with Niall's. "Nah, you'll be the one doing the embarrassing, mate."

"Oi!"

Zayn smiled at Liam. "Thanks for inviting us. We'd love to."

"Cool," said Liam, warm all the way down to his toes. "Suppose this whole online dating thing worked alright in the end. Did the job four times over."


End file.
